13 tips for better sex, according to experts

When you think Cosmo, odds are one of the first things that comes to mind is “sex tips.” That’s because we’ve spent the past several decades bringing readers the very best in all things sexual wisdom. And while, historically, we may not have always hit the mark (yes, we all remember that donut tip), we’re committed to going above and beyond to seek out the best, most scientifically accurate, sex-life-enhancing advice, straight from the experts.

And no, we’re not talking about hacky sex tips from grocery store checkout lines of yore like, “how to drive him wild!’ and “how to please your man.” The expert-backed sex advice we’re bringing you today is for people of all genders, sexualities, and experience levels, and it’s about so much more than improving your “performance” or pleasing a partner. Rather, it’s about building your sexual confidence, getting in touch with your own unique erotic blueprint, and co-creating safe, pleasurable, fulfilling sexual encounters with partners that help you build a better sex life overall.

“Great sex isn’t just about what you do—it’s about how present, engaged, and uninhibited you allow yourself to be,” says sex therapist Carolina Pataky, PhD, relationship expert and founder of South Florida’s Love Discovery Institute. “The most electrifying experiences don’t come from perfect technique or performing for someone else—they come from tuning into your own pleasure, embracing what turns you on, and sharing that energy with your partner.”

Here are 13 sex tips to help you have better sex and create a more fulfilling sex life, both partnered and solo (because, yes, your sex life with yourself is just as important).