Does crushing on your favorite SmutTok hero make you fictosexual?
Unpacking a niche sexuality that...might be more relatable than it seems!
At one time or another, any “gifted student”-type who reads at an advanced level will almost inevitably experience the canon girlhood event of becoming infatuated with a fictional character. Perhaps you, like me, were exposed to 19th-century literature at a tragically young age and developed a debilitating crush on Mr. Rochester that left you with a lifelong and occasionally problematic fixation on older male authority figures. Or maybe you were more of a Mr. Darcy girl who is now doomed to crave the approval of “fluent in sarcasm” bros who think being rude to your face is “witty banter.” Or it could’ve been Heathcliff who stole your precociously tortured heart—in which case, boy oh boy, are you about to get your shit rocked by the Emerald Fennell adaptation.
Pick your literary poison. Either way, crushing on a character—be it a Brontë anti-hero or a romantasy heartthrob—is something many of us have experienced in some capacity. But for some, fantasizing about the fictional goes beyond having a favorite character or spending some quality alone time with your latest SmutTok read. For fictosexuals, experiencing sexual or romantic attraction to fictional characters is a significant part of their sexual identity.
“Fictosexuality is a sexual orientation where someone feels drawn—emotionally, romantically, or sexually—to fictional characters, sometimes more than they do to real people,” explains therapist and gender specialist Rebecca Minor. “For folks who identify this way, those connections aren’t imaginary or surface-level—they’re deeply felt and genuinely meaningful.”
Fictosexuality is often considered to be part of the asexual spectrum, with the term gaining popularity in online spaces devoted to asexuality. It’s not a brand new term, with some sources dating the earliest known usage back to 2005. But in recent years, the once niche identity has become more mainstream, with BookTok’s romance novel renaissance finding many of us at the intersection of our sex lives and reading habits.
That said, being an avid ACOTAR fan doesn’t necessarily make you fictosexual. Here’s what it really means to be “ficto.”
What Is Fictosexuality?
“Fictosexual is often considered a microlabel under the asexual umbrella used by people who experience sexual attraction toward fictional characters,” says Aubri Lancaster, a certified sexuality educator with a focus on asexuality and aromanticism. Some people who identify with fictosexuality may experience both sexual and romantic attraction to fictional characters—with the related term, “fictoromantic,” referring to the latter—while for others it may be one or the other. “Fictosexuality may be someone’s primary identity label or may be one part of their sexual identity constellation,” Lancaster explains.
Fictosexual folks may experience attraction to characters from books, movies, TV shows, video games, or any other form of fictional entertainment. But while the characters they’re attracted to may not be real, the attraction itself—as well as the identity surrounding it—absolutely is.
“This kind of attraction might not look ‘typical’ from the outside, but it’s still real,” says Minor. “It speaks to the power of imagination, storytelling, and emotional connection—and how expansive attraction can truly be. At its core, it’s a valid identity that challenges how we define attraction—and invites us to expand our understanding of it.”
Do You Have to Be Asexual to Be Fictosexual?
While fictosexuality is often associated with asexuality and generally considered to fall under the asexual umbrella, not all fictosexuals identify as asexual.
Lancaster says that for those who do identify as both ace and ficto and feel a strong connection between those identities, it may be because they mainly or exclusively experience sexual attraction to fictional characters (and rarely or never to real people). For others who don’t identify as asexual, fictosexuality may exist alongside their allosexual experience or even be incorporated into their partnered sex life. In these cases—like, for example, role play in which partners dress up as fictional characters—fictosexuality enhances sexual attraction and activity, rather than being the only way someone can experience it, says Lancaster.
Ultimately, everyone’s relationship to their sexuality and the terms they use to describe it is unique, and these labels are meant to be inclusive, not to box anyone in or leave anyone out.
“While most commonly used by people who identify under the asexual umbrella, language like this is a tool for people to help communicate their needs, boundaries, and experiences and to find community,” says Lancaster, adding that many people who do not identify on the asexual spectrum still experience attraction to fictional characters, and there’s no reason they shouldn’t use the term “fictosexual” if they feel it resonates.
“Not every fictosexual person considers themselves asexual, and that’s okay,” says writer and asexuality educator Cody Daigle-Orians, creator of ‘Ace Dad Advice.’ “We all use the language for our identities that make the most sense for us. But the asexual community recognizes fictosexuality as part of the ace spectrum, and ficto folks certainly have a place in the ace experience.”
What Does Fictosexuality Look Like in Practice?
As is true of all sexual identities all the time, there’s no one way fictosexuality should look.
“What a person does with their sexual attraction—act on it alone, act on it with a partner or partners, not act on it at all—is unique and personal to them, their wants and needs, and their boundaries,” says Daigle-Orians.
For some, fictosexuality may be a relatively minor part of their sexual fantasies or activity. “For others, it may be an intense and powerful attraction to fictional characters and may or may not involve a wish for them to be real so that such fantasies could become reality,” says Lancaster. Some people may engage with their fictosexual fantasies via solo sex, with partners, or not at all.
However it manifests, the key thing to remember about fictosexuality is that—contrary to common misconception—it’s not rooted in fear or immaturity surrounding sex, nor is it the result of social isolation or reflective of an inability to forge real-life connections, says Minor, adding that “attraction to fictional characters can be just as complex and affirming as any other form of attraction.”
Indeed, Daigle-Orians encourages those tempted to side-eye fictosexuality to instead try viewing niche or unfamiliar identities as “examples of how complex and multifaceted human sexuality can be. There’s so much variety in how we, as human beings, experience sexual attraction. Fictosexuality is just one of those varied ways.”
Lead image: Getty Images
Credit: Cosmopolitan