Meet haunting, ghosting’s creepy new cousin who can’t stop lurking on your social media

We're already familiar with the term ghosting--it's when someone vanishes from your life without so much as a “bye.” But there’s a new, spookier sibling making the rounds: haunting. If ghosting is the silence, haunting is the background noise. It’s when an ex (or almost-something) cuts off real-world contact but still lurks in your digital world, casually liking old posts, peeking at your stories, or popping up in your views list like an uninvited guest.

Sounds familiar? That’s because it’s happening everywhere. Thanks to social media, relationships don’t just end anymore; they linger in your notifications. And while it may look harmless, haunting can mess with your head more than you think.

What is it? 

Haunting is basically ghosting 2.0. Instead of disappearing completely, the person refuses to give you the closure you deserve—they don’t text, call, or meet up, but online, they’re always watching, liking, or lurking. Maybe your ex views every single Instagram story within seconds, leaves likes on random posts months after the breakup, or somehow seems to know what you’re up to without ever reaching out. It’s confusing, annoying, and sometimes even a little flattering, but mostly? It’s disruptive, keeping you stuck in a loop of mixed emotions instead of letting you move on.

So why do people do it? We have a few thoughts. 

Ego boost

For some, haunting is all about validation. Staying connected without committing allows them to feel important in your life; they get the thrill of being noticed, liked, or remembered, without having to actually invest any time or effort. It’s a quiet way to feed their ego while keeping their independence intact.

Curiosity

Humans are naturally nosy, and exes are no exception. They want to know what you’re up to, who you’re spending time with, and whether you’ve moved on. Each story view or like gives them a peek into your world, letting them satisfy that curiosity from the safety of their screen.

Control

Some people haunt as a subtle power move. Watching your stories or liking posts is a way of saying, “I’m still here,” without initiating real contact. It’s a passive way to assert presence and keep a thread of influence over your attention.

Habit

Social media makes it effortless to keep tabs. Sometimes, haunting isn’t even intentional; it’s a reflex, scrolling through notifications and stories out of routine. Your ex might not even realise how often they’re peeking; it’s just become part of their scrolling habit.

Mixed feelings

Finally, there are the ones who are emotionally stuck. They don’t want to get back together, but they’re not ready to fully let go either. Haunting allows them to hover in your life from a safe distance, keeping the connection alive without confronting the reality of the breakup.

How it can mess with you 

At first, haunting can feel strangely flattering, like proof your ex still cares or hasn’t forgotten you. But that fleeting validation comes with a catch: the constant digital lurking can seriously stall your emotional progress. Every time you see their username in your story views or notice another like on an old post, it can reopen old feelings, spark confusion, or make you question what they want or if they want anything at all. Over time, it becomes a kind of emotional static, a low-level buzz of uncertainty that keeps you mentally and emotionally stuck in the past instead of letting you fully move forward and focus on yourself.

How to deal with a haunting

Don’t overanalyse: Just because your ex viewed your story doesn’t mean it’s a secret love confession or a hidden message. Sometimes a view is literally just a view. Overthinking their intentions will only give them more mental space in your head than they deserve.

Set boundaries: Your peace of mind comes first. If their lurking bothers you, don’t hesitate to mute, restrict, or block them. Social media is your space; protect it like you would your personal life.

Control your feed: You don’t owe anyone a full access pass to your life. Post only what feels safe and comfortable to share publicly. Curate your content in a way that keeps you in control of what others can see.

Focus on you: Every minute you spend obsessing over why they’re lurking is a minute you could spend on your own growth, hobbies, or fun. Channel that energy into yourself instead of giving them a starring role in your mental drama.

Address it if needed: If their haunting crosses a line and feels invasive, it’s okay to call it out. But in most cases, silence, boundaries, and self-focus are the best tools. Responding isn’t required; your emotional well-being is.

Instead of obsessing over why they’re haunting you, turn it into motivation. Your ex may be stuck in your past, but you’re busy building your future. Let their ghostly presence fuel your glow-up. After all, nothing says “I’ve moved on” like thriving while they’re stuck refreshing your stories.

Ghosting hurts, but haunting can be just as confusing. It’s the modern version of lingering around someone’s house after a breakup, except now it’s digital, constant, and harder to avoid. The truth? Their haunting says more about them than it ever will about you.

So the next time their name pops up in your story views, remember: you’re not haunted; you’re unforgettable. And that, my friend, is a major flex.

Lead image credit: Netflix 

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