'The Summer I Turned Pretty': Does it count as cheating if you’re on a break?
Time for ~opinions~ on TV’s most hotly-debated relationship question.
This article contains spoilers for The Summer I Turned Pretty season three.
Does it count as cheating if you’re on a break? It’s one of the most hotly-debated relationship questions that nobody can seem to agree on — not just in many people’s personal lives, but also, ofc, on TV.
The dispute is most famously associated with a little-known sitcom you might have heard of called Friends. The refrain, “We were on a break”, is one of the most famous catchphrases from the show, uttered throughout the latter half of its 10 series by Ross, who uses it as a defence for sleeping with another woman while he and Rachel were — you guessed it — on a break.
Well, now the line — and the furious debate it’s long sparked — has just had a 2025 upgrade. In the first episode of the new season of The Summer I Just Turned Pretty, Belly (played by Lola Tung, Cosmo’s latest cover girl, FYI!) finds out that Jeremiah (Gavin Casalegno) slept with someone else during spring break while the pair were on their own, highly contested, break.
In episode two, we get to see the fight and decide for ourselves whether they really were on a break. It all starts after Belly learns that Jeremiah booked a last minute ticket to Cabo with his fraternity (and, importantly, the sororities, too) and didn’t tell her, nor invite her.
The argument quickly escalates — Jeremiah suggests Belly looks down on him for being in a fraternity and not being a straight A student like his brother; Belly says he has an inferiority complex, which he gets from his dad; and then Jeremiah says, “If you think I’m so stupid and selfish, then why are you even with me? Fuck it, I won’t waste your time. Let’s just end it. I’m serious.”
To which Belly replies — it should be noted: in a clearly mocking, sarcastic tone — “Okay that’s fine, if that’s how you feel.” Cue angry Jere storming out.
Then, after not speaking for five days, during which he’s in Cabo, Belly eventually goes to see Jeremiah, who apologises, saying he’d had a shitty week and fucked up by taking it out on her. He then asks, “What does this mean? Do you want to get back together?”, to which Belly replies, “We never stopped being together” — much to Jeremiah’s horror.
Okay, lots to unpack! Let’s get into the big question: Does it count as cheating if you’re on a break?
The answer is both nuanced and, obviously, context dependent. It’s also wrapped up in linguistics. If we asked instead, ‘Is it kinda fucked up to sleep with someone else mere hours/days after going on a break from your partner?’, I think everyone would say yes.
This is especially true in Ross and Jeremiah’s case, when the ‘breaks’ were decided on in the heat of the moment during fights, and when they both clearly want to be with their partners (also, hello, they both started the fights that led to the breaks). If you know deep down that you want to stay together, maybe take some time to cool off? Maybe give your partner a call and tell them you don’t actually want to break up and see what they say? Maybe don’t have sex with someone else immediately? Seems simple to me!
Essentially: use your brain. Think ahead; have a little ponder about how your actions right now might make your partner/temporary ex feel and whether it will impact the relationship continuing. Then ask yourself: how would the result make me feel? If the answer is ‘sad’, ‘regretful’, or ‘ashamed’, then don’t do it. It truly isn’t rocket science — sorry, lads.
Looking beyond TSITP and Friends, then there are situations where it’s probably fine to sleep with other people during a break. First, if the break has been properly discussed and agreed upon by both people. Then, ideally, if the terms of the break have been set.
If you agree, say, that neither of you will sleep with other people during the break, then, yes, it’s cheating if you do. If you agree that you can both do whatever you want — whether you decide to tell each other afterwards or not — then, no, it wouldn’t be cheating to sleep with someone else while you’re on a break.
If you don’t decide on terms but the break has been agreed on in a sober and logical manner, then, IMO (and, again, context dependent — we are all unique and complex human beings!!), it’s probably not cheating if you have sex with someone else.
But ultimately, it doesn’t really matter if it’s ‘cheating’, per say, because the feelings are likely to be the same whether it’s smacked with an inflammatory label or not.
If anyone cares what I think, I reckon Jeremiah did cheat — I think he knows it, and is playing the ‘we were on a break’ card in bad faith (although TBF he does acknowledge later in the ep that “it’s not an excuse”). And I think Ross did the same. I don’t necessarily think that means they can’t be forgiven — but, as priests always say, you should prob just confess your sins. Or whatever.
Just talk to each other, guys! Whether you’re a fictional TV character or not.
Credit: Cosmopolitan