Friendship red flags are real—and no, you're not being dramatic

Let’s be real: dating red flags have been having their main character moments since Rahul and Anjali and the Karan Johar saga. It’s been seen, studied, analysed, and its findings have been publicised in Girl Science journals anyway. As for friendship red flags, those are silent, but boy, are they the snipers of our mental health and self-esteem. And what’s worse? You’ve probably still saved their names with coordinated emojis you once made an inside joke of who knows how long ago. 

You’ve managed to delude yourself into thinking it’s fine for her to make every conversation about her because she’s ’going through something’. You’ve also let her get away with literally copy-pasting your personality, and she even tried to slide in your crush’s DMs because ‘she was curious,’ and when you were weeping over your last heartbreak, she didn’t even call you back. You just told yourself that she’s a bad texter.  

But it's time for a reality check: these aren’t ’personality quirks’ as you called them; these are glaring, crimson red flags dragged from the depths of toxic friendships. And yes, you may have missed these red flags for quite a while now. Yes, you’ve known them for years, and even went shopping together, but being her trauma garbage can and enabler isn’t a healthy friendship. 

Here are the friendship red flags to watch out for—because real friends don’t drain your energy, they fuel your soul. 

She’s just blunt

Nope. She just takes every opportunity to make you feel small. You might chalk it up to years of comfort, sarcasm, or quirky banter—but it’s really just her being rude at your expense. When you were sobbing on FaceTime about your ex cheating on you, she hit you with, “That’s just how life is when you have such pathetic taste. No offence.” That’s not tough love, babe—that’s just insecurity wrapped in sarcasm and served with a side of mean-girl energy.

She’s more unavailable than your ex

You texted her, “I feel like hell, can we talk?” and she replied the next day, long after you’d picked yourself back up. You told yourself she’s busy, that she has her own stuff going on—and sure, maybe she does. But that didn’t stop her from posting selfies at your go-to restaurant with someone who suspiciously resembles the girl who once dragged your name through the group chat.

Let’s be clear: your bestie doesn’t have to be your therapist, but she should show up for you. If you’re always there for her and she’s never there for you? Congrats, you’re being used as a free emotional support hotline.

You’re her unpaid, overworked hype-girl

It’s 2025. Can we stop pretending that history equals closeness? You’ve spent years calming her breakdowns, holding space for her feelings while your own were in chaos, fixing her eyeliner mid-meltdown—and she can’t be bothered to ask if you’re okay? That’s not friendship. That’s unpaid labour. And Girl Math says that’s a hard no.

Look, friendship red flag blindness is real. For too long, we’ve been taught to equate loyalty with discomfort. But loyalty without safety? That’s just self-destruction in disguise. You’re not overreacting or being disloyal by putting yourself first. You’ve been betraying yourself for too long.

Healing means letting go of what no longer serves you—and yes, that includes her.

Lead image: Netflix 

Also read: Eldest syndrome is real—and it could be ruining your adult friendships

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