Can practice dating save us from dating burnout?

It was one hot Thursday evening when 25-year-old Shubhi Srivastava, an MBA student, met a man she knew she was unlikely to ever see again. She'd picked a café midway between their offices. He arrived five minutes late, apologised, and launched into a rant about a bad client meeting. Once upon a time, she says, that alone would have been enough to write him off completely.

But this time was different because this wasn't a date where she was expecting any kind of commitment.

A year ago, every date felt like an audition. She'd catch herself wondering if he was emotionally ready, if she was wasting her time, even mentally drafting her wedding guest list before dessert arrived. Dating had become exhausting.

Then she stumbled onto the idea of practice dating, saying yes to dates she might once have rejected outright, not because she expected romance, but because she wanted to stop overanalysing every interaction. The concept didn't so much change her behaviour as validate what she'd already been longing to do.

"Practice dates have helped me build confidence and become more comfortable with myself," she says. "I was never very good at expressing my thoughts. I was always too serious, and flirting felt awkward. These dates have made me much more candid. I've started experimenting, becoming more relaxed, and I think that's helping me shape the person I'll eventually be when I do seriously date someone."

For Rushali Shettigar, a public relations and communications professional, practice dating wasn't a strategy so much as a slow return to herself after heartbreak. "It took me years to truly move on from my past and reach a place where I could even consider going on a date with someone new," she says. Once she got there, she realised, "I didn't have to put so much pressure on what a date was supposed to mean."

Letting go of the expectation that every date had to lead to "the one" changed everything. "A date could simply be a nice conversation, two strangers sharing their stories, enjoying their food, or just an amusing evening," she says.

Instead of chasing instant chemistry, she started paying closer attention to a person's mindset, values, and how they approach life. Ambition still matters, she adds, "but what matters just as much is emotional maturity and the willingness to be a true partner, someone who understands that a relationship is about supporting each other through different phases of life."

In short: practice dating is the conscious decision to date people you don't automatically see as "the one," without necessarily looking for a romantic relationship. It's a way to build confidence, sharpen communication, take the pressure off first dates, and get to know yourself better, approaching dates as a chance for social experience rather than a hunt for a soulmate, while still staying honest and keeping your integrity intact.

Is it fair to the other person?

One question follows practice dating everywhere it goes: is it ethical to date someone you're not sure you want long-term?

Tanvi Singh, mental health expert and founder of the Leap of Love Foundation, doesn't dodge it. "There's nothing inherently wrong with going on a date simply because you're open to knowing someone better," she says. "The ethical concern arises when one person is clear that they have no intention of exploring a relationship but continues engaging in ways that encourage false expectations."

Her guiding principle is simple: "Practice dating shouldn't mean practising on people. It should mean practising honesty, communication, emotional regulation, and curiosity. You don't need certainty after one date, but you do owe people authenticity. If your intentions change, communicate that kindly instead of disappearing or keeping someone emotionally invested for the sake of your own growth."

Shettigar says this was a real concern for her too. "I was always conscious of not wanting to waste anyone's time or give them false hope," she says. "I never went into a date pretending I already knew where it would lead. I was honest with myself and with the other person that I was simply getting to know them."

Her conclusion mirrors Singh's almost exactly: "Not every good date has to end in a relationship. Sometimes you meet someone wonderful, but you're just not compatible, and that's okay. If you're respectful, communicate honestly, and don't lead someone on by making promises you can't keep, I don't think you've wasted anyone's time. In fact, you've both learned something about yourselves and what you're looking for."

 

What it all reveals about singles today

So is practice dating a sign of progress, or a symptom of burnout? Singh's answer: both. "Today's singles seem less willing to enter relationships simply because they feel societal pressure to do so. They're more aware of red flags, boundaries, communication patterns, and emotional compatibility," she says. But dating has also grown more emotionally demanding: "many people describe feeling fatigued by repeated cycles of hope, disappointment, uncertainty, and starting over."

Her closing thought reframes the whole conversation: "I don't think practising dating is about dating. I think it's about how people are trying to build healthier relationships with themselves first." From her clinical work, she's noticed a consistent pattern, people today aren't necessarily chasing "perfect" relationships. "They're asking for emotionally safe ones. They want to feel heard, respected, and accepted for who they are."

Singh sums up the bigger picture: "Dating doesn't have to be approached as either a search for 'the one' or a completely casual exercise. It can simply be an opportunity to meet another person with curiosity, communicate honestly, and allow connection to unfold at its own pace. That mindset reduces pressure without losing sincerity, and I believe that's where healthier relationships begin."

Lead image: Pexels

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