These are the most Googled dating and relationships questions of 2025—and, er, it’s been an anxious year

It’s that time of the year again… no, not Christmas, dummy! It’s time to find out all your dirty little Googling secrets!

For the last few years, Google has shared exclusive data with Cosmopolitan UK about what our little nation has been searching the most when it comes to dating and relationships, giving us a sometimes bizarre insight into people’s private lives with such gems as, ‘How do fish have sex?’, ‘What is a DINK relationship?’, and, ‘Is masturbation a sin?’. If you’ve found yourself Googling any of those this year — omg same! — you can find our helpful answers here and here (except, soz, we don’t do fish sex at Cosmo).

Unsurprisingly, many of this year’s questions, again shared exclusively with Cosmo, reflect a general anxiety around dating and relationships, with the likes of, ‘Why is dating so hard?’, ‘What is relationship anxiety?’, and ‘Why are dating apps so bad?’, showing up on the list.

It’s been another turbulent year for singles. People are still feeling burnt out by dating apps (and dating in general) but unsure how else to meet people; we’re all afraid to be vulnerable for fear of embarrassment — both IRL and online – or rejection; and, for heterosexual daters, it can feel increasingly impossible to relate to and connect with the opposite gender. And we’re battling all of this amid an inescapable stream of pseudo-psychological advice on social media, therapy speak, and the strict rules, icks, and ‘non-negotiables’ we force onto our love lives.

2025 hasn’t been a walk in the park for couples, either. Relationships come with their own challenges, particularly during a cost of living crisis and as more people than ever are struggling with their mental health. It’s cliché to say, but relationships take a lot of work — which you know, as you’ve also been Googling, ‘What is relationship management?’ — and, if you’re feeling stressed, anxious, sad, or lonely, it can be hard to navigate someone else’s feelings alongside your own. Let alone feel in the mood for anything sexy.All of this is to say: yes, the questions suggest a lingering anxiety in our romantic lives, but also a desire to dig into, and help alleviate, that anxiety. Not that Google is the best place for that — but it’s a start! “People are looking not just for answers, but for language to describe how they’re feeling,” says relationship therapist Catherine Topham Sly, “from anxiety, obsessions and compulsions, to concerns around when to have sex, or how vulnerable to be. These searches reveal how much desire people feel to understand their relationships, how much confusion we often feel about what’s ‘normal’, and how overwhelming that can all be.”

So, in an attempt to answer your burning questions and, in some cases, hopefully put your mind at ease a little, we recruited Topham Sly and sex and relationship coach Lucy Rowett to share their expert advice and unpack what our Googling habits say about the state of our romantic lives today.

As mentioned, one of the most Googled relationship questions of the year was, ‘What is relationship anxiety?’. According to Rowett, it’s “a form of generalised anxiety that’s specifically around intimate or romantic relationships, and it will usually be around the partner that you’re dating”. There’s always some uncertainty in relationships, but Rowett says relationship anxiety takes it to the next level and can show up with no rhyme or reason. It might look like constant rumination and overanalysis — ‘Is that a red flag?’, ‘Do they love me?’, ‘Should I leave them?’ — or frequently breaking up and getting back together with someone. “You can spend more time worrying about your relationship and if the person is right for you than actually enjoying being in it,” she continues.

Topham Sly adds that relationship anxiety can stem from “your nervous system reacting to past experiences of not feeling safe or wanted”. If this sounds like you, she says: “What helps most is learning to understand and regulate those feelings, so you can reach for and respond to your partner with more clarity and calm, rather than reacting from fear.”

Also among the top Googled questions of 2025 was, ‘What is relationship OCD?’. It’s similar to relationship anxiety, with Topham Sly explaining that it’s a more severe “form of obsessive-compulsive thinking where someone becomes consumed by doubts or fears about their partner or the relationship”. She adds: “If this is something you struggle with, you’re not alone, and it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your relationship. Talking to a therapist who understands OCD or anxiety in relationships can be hugely helpful.”

As well as seeking professional help (which is always advisable — and we’re not talking about Dr Google!), Rowett says there’s also small changes you can make immediately (and for free) that might help. Notably: stop following relationship accounts on social media. Both couples who share their relationship, who it can be easy to compare yourself to — “You’re only seeing a tiny snapshot,” Rowett reminds us — and those dishing out relationship or dating advice. If you’re already ruminating about your love life, doomscrolling the topic definitely won’t help.

‘What is relationship management?’ also makes it onto the list. While this might be an outlier and refer to workplace relationship management, it could also refer to, as Rowett puts it, “how to build and maintain a healthy, happy relationship and not sliding in apathy”. It makes sense that people are Googling this now, she continues, as a lot of relationships fell apart during the pandemic and so we’re increasingly aware of what it takes to maintain a good relationship. “People are wanting to invest time, energy, and even money into making sure that the relationship they have is working and that they're not just doing it by default.”

Onto the dating side of things, you’ve been turning to Google to ask why dating is so hard and why dating apps are so bad. We feel you! And these are the million dollar questions — they’re also hard to answer, but we put them to Topham Sly and Rowett anyway.

“Modern dating is particularly hard because we’re trying to build emotional intimacy in a culture that values independence,” says Topham Sly. “We’re doing this in a context of seemingly endless choice, with another option just a swipe away. And social media has played a part in shifting our default perspective from, ‘How do I feel about this experience?’, to, ‘How am I coming across?’. The result is a lot of trying to play it cool, while deep down craving closeness.” Interesting she mentions that! ‘How to play it cool while dating’ is also one of the most Googled questions of 2025.

“My advice is to focus less on whether your date likes you or not, and more on being yourself and tuning into your feelings about them,” continues Topham Sly. “Approach it with an attitude of curiosity, openness, and self-respect, and remember that dating isn’t a test you have to pass, it’s a process of finding out if you’re a good fit for each other.”

Rowett also recommends branching out from just relying on dating apps to meet people. “It’s not that you have to give up on them,” she says, “but really try to put more effort and intention into meeting people — and not just on dates [or in a romance setting], at real-life events. That way, you’re also going to build those social muscles and those flirting muscles. A lot of us are losing those soft skills as humans.”

As for that ‘playing it cool’ question? “I’m really against the idea of playing it cool,” says Rowett. “It implies that we have to put on an act when we date someone; to pretend to be nonchalant and carefree. And if that’s not who you are in day-to-day life, then it’s not going to work. It’s going to feel like crap for you and you’re going to hate yourself for it — and if you’ve tried it already, you’ve probably ended up dating the wrong people.”

Instead, she suggests: “Lean into your authenticity and embrace who you are. It’s going to filter out a lot of people really quickly — and that’s what you want. If you feel you have to play it cool with someone, your relationship will be built on an act, and that ain’t gonna last!”

Besides, adds Topham Sly: “Vulnerability is where real intimacy begins, but it’s both natural and healthy to open up to people gradually as you get a sense of how emotionally safe the relationship feels. Showing genuine interest, expressing how you feel, and pushing yourself to be a little braver can make your dates feel much more meaningful.”

Before we give you the full list of questions, there’s one final one we want to tackle, which, as per Google, is: ‘When to have sex while dating.’ “That’s like saying, ‘How long is a piece of string?’,” says Rowett. “If it’s the right person, it doesn’t matter if you fuck on the first date or if you wait longer. All that matters is that [it’s consensual and] you use protection.”

Topham Sly (and us here at Cosmo!) wholeheartedly agrees. “There’s no right time to have sex when dating, other than when it feels safe, exciting, and like something you really want to do,” she says. “Ask yourself: do I feel both physically and emotionally comfortable with this person? Can I talk to them openly, and trust them to listen? Good sex often starts with good communication.”

Overarchingly, it’s clear from these questions that we’re feeling uncertain and anxious, which, says Rowett, makes total sense in the world we’re living in today. “We’re all becoming more siphoned into different pipelines, which is making it even harder for us to connect with each other,” she explains. “That’s on top of the general uncertainty of wars, genocides, the economy, [the climate crisis, the list goes on]. It makes sense that this is going to be reflected in our dating lives.”

For what it’s worth, Rowett says that if you’re able to learn to be more direct — with yourself and others — it can help with this uncertainty. Well, in dating at least. “See if you can create a clearer boundary within yourself about behavior you’re not going to tolerate and what you value,” she advises. “It’s easy for me to say there’s plenty of fish in the sea when it doesn’t feel like that, but the clearer you can be in terms of what you want, the less heartache you’ll suffer and the less energy you’ll waste on guessing.”

Besides, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Just how many? You’ll have to Google that.

Top trending relationships questions

1. What is relationship anxiety?
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5. Does relationship therapy work?
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1. Which dating app is the best?
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4. Why are dating apps so bad?
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7. Are dating apps haram?
8. What dating site do celebrities use?