Your 2025 guide to knowing when 'He’s (or she’s) Just Not That Into You'

The 2000s were peak rom-com era, serving up all the love lessons (and delusions) that shaped our teenage years. And no film nailed the dating reality check quite like He’s Just Not That Into You. It became the unofficial dating rulebook for spotting red flags, decoding mixed signals, and recognising that sometimes a flirty smile or a late-night text does not mean what we think. 

Fast forward to 2025, and while some of those golden rules still hold, modern dating has thrown in a few new plot twists. Now it's less about chance encounters at coffee shops and more about dry texting, unmatched Hinge profiles, and “soft ghosting.” Modern love has added a fresh set of red flags that have changed the way we read the signs. So think of this as your updated playbook for knowing when he or she (yes, women can be part of the problem, too) is just not that into you.

They’re a dry-texter in a world of voice notes

If their idea of flirting is hitting you with “k” or “lol,” that’s not mysterious, just lazy. In 2025, bare-minimum texting is not cutting it. If they’re not sending you a chaotic 2 am meme dump, a “thinking of you” reel, or at least a quick, maybe sweet, maybe random voice note, you’re basically chatting with a customer care bot. Interest means effort, and one-word replies are just them shrugging at you through the phone.

They keep you stuck in the “situationship multiverse”

You go on dates, you cuddle, you’ve swapped playlists, but the second you ask, “So what are we?” they act like you’ve asked them to help you commit a crime. Welcome to the multiverse of modern romance, where you’re technically “together” but somehow you're not in a relationship either. Spoiler: if they’re allergic to labels now, don’t expect a sudden “boyfriend reveal” plot twist down the road. Remember, you're the rule, not the exception. 

They ‘orbit’ but never land

They’ve seen your IG stories, liked your photo, maybe even dropped a cheeky comment, but when it comes to actually making plans, it’s radio silence. Now, don't go around blushing and thinking they're flirting with you; they're just orbiting, aka hanging in your digital galaxy without ever touching down in real life. And while it feels validating to know they’re still “around,” being someone’s favourite notification isn’t the same as being their priority.

They always cancel on you

Sure, everyone’s busy, but if every plan you make ends with a “rain check” that never gets rescheduled, it’s not about their calendar; it’s just a lack of interest. Remember, if someone really likes you, they're gonna call. They won't keep you pencilled in like a dentist appointment that they keep forgetting to confirm. If your date history looks like a graveyard of “maybe next week?” you’ve got your answer. 

They breadcrumb like it’s their side hustle

A “you up?” text at midnight, a random fire emoji on your 2019 throwback, or a vague “we should hang sometime” that never turns into actual plans—these are crumbs, not commitment. Breadcrumbing is designed to keep you orbiting their attention without ever getting the full loaf of affection. And newsflash: crumbs won’t ever fill you up.

They keep you on ‘private story’ status

Every time you try to get real, be it talking about feelings, boundaries, or (gasp) the future, they dodge harder than someone ignoring a WhatsApp family group. Emotional intimacy isn’t going to magically appear in season two of this situationship. If they can’t even handle a conversation about what you want, believe me, they’re not gonna stick around.

They ghost… but only part-time

They vanish for a week, then pop back into your life with a casual “hey stranger” like nothing happened. Please don't fantasise about it like it's romantic tension, it's just soft ghosting. They disappear just long enough to keep you hooked, then resurface when they’re bored or have no one else pining for them. Their presence often feels like a dodgy WiFi connection. Do yourself a favour, and just disconnect.

If you’re constantly over-analysing, screenshotting chats for your group text, or refreshing Hinge to see if they’ve updated their prompts, then you probably already know the answer. When someone’s really into you, you don’t need to decode clues like it’s a murder mystery podcast. You feel secure, wanted, and certain. If you’re not getting that energy, it’s not your soulmate—it’s your sign to move on. Because remember, “If a guy is treating you like he doesn’t give a sh*t, he genuinely doesn’t give a sh*t.”

Lead image credit: IMDb 

Also read: How to lose a guy in 10 days, the 2025 way

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