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Here's What You Should Do When Your Guy's On The Small Side

Even a less-than-ginormous package can feel instantly bigger with Cosmo's guide to workin' it. Here's our sizewise reality check.

Mar 21, 2018
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Pick up any steamy novel and you'll find the same time-honoured scenario: He drops his pants, and she drops her jaw. He's long, hard, impressive...heck, he's huge. And while many reallife women also admit to loving the sensation of a large, full penis, the chances of running into one aren't nearly as great as chick lit - and porn flicks -  would make you think.

So what's a girl to do if she falls for a guy who's a little, or even a lot, smaller than she'd like? We're happy to report that smallerthan-average men can serve up plenty of pleasure in bed with a few subtle tricks and techniques on your end. It also helps to have a little perspective. So here are the goods on what's true and what's not about size... And even hotter goods on how to make the most of whatever he's packing.

What's "Normal" Down There...

"The truth is, most penises are a little longer than 5 inches when erect," says Harry Fisch, M.D., professor of clinical urology at Columbia University New York-Presbyterian Hospital and co-author of Size Matters. Not sure what that looks like? Take out a 100 rupee note from your wallet. It's 6 inches long, meaning the majority of guys are slightly shorter than that piece of paper.

"This is a crucial dose of reality since many young women may label their partner as small when he's really not," says Jane Bogart, director for student wellness at Columbia University Medical Center and author of Sexploration: The Ultimate Guide to Feeling Truly Great in Bed. Only 15 percent of men are longer than 7 inches, and just 3 percent surpass 8 inches.

...And What's Not

That said, it is physically possible for a guy to be pretty damn small. "Two to three percent of men have a microphallus, a penis under 3 inches long and 1 inch wide when erect," says Dr Fisch. Dimensions like these are less able to give you the friction you crave and can make sex a challenge. But this condition is rare, and the majority of guys who seem small at first glance are perfectly normal and capable of pleasuring you. One important reason why: The most sexually sensitive part of your vagina is the first 3 inches, and it is penis width - not length-that creates satisfying friction and fullness there. And because there's less variation among penis width than length, "a 4-inch penis will likely create as much sensation as a longer one," says Bogart.

Sex Moves That Max His Dimensions

It's all about employing simple tweaks and tricks so a smallish penis can hit your sensitive spots. First, keep your legs close together during sex. "No matter what position you're in, this will create a tighter fit and provide more stimulation at the entrance of your vagina, where the most nerves are," explains Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of Passionista. Bringing your legs close is particularly helpful if his penis is on the skinny side since it narrows the point of entry.

Another trick that works specifically for missionary: Place a pillow under your hips before he enters you, propping your pelvis upward. "This tilts your vagina so he can penetrate you more deeply," says Bogart. If you don't have a pillow in reach, give yourself a boost by putting your legs on his shoulders. He'll be able to go much deeper and feel bigger, and there can be more clitoral contact.

Spoon-style sex-lying side by side with him entering you from behind, his arms wrapped around you-is also a great position. It brings your bodies superclose, restricting how much he can thrust in and out. "He'll seem larger since you'll be able to feel more of his penis inside you," says Kerner. Plus, he'll have easy access to your clitoris, so he can use his hand to intensify your sensations.

Ways to Take the Edge Off

The stronger a guy's erection, the bigger he'll feel when he's inside you. But since a lot of smaller men worry about disappointing you in bed, they stress out as things heat up. And that makes it difficult for them to get completely hard. So help him loosen up by stroking his ego a bit. While you're messing around and he's taking off his clothes, say something about how hot you think he is, like "I couldn't keep my mind on my work today, I've been thinking about being with you all day," says Kerner. You also can have a pre-sex cocktail or two-a modest dose of alcohol can relax the arteries that bring blood to the penis, helping him reach maximum hardness. (Just don't overdo it; having three or more drinks can make him go limp.) What you don't want to do is fire off a fake compliment-its easy to tell when you say things and don't mean it. Remarking "Wow!" when he drops his pants will make him feel worse, since he'll know it's insincere, explains Kerner.

If he's still tense before hooking up, this can cause his muscles to tighten and his penis to curl up close to his body. "It's similar to the shrinkage that happens when a guy gets in a cold swimming pool," says Bogart. Prevent this by giving him a sensual inner-thigh massage during foreplay: Trail your fingers along each thigh, up to his cutlines and back again, and then massage deeply around his package in small circles. It's a convenient lead-in to sex, so he won't know that your massage has an ulterior motive.

Even if your man doesn't seem nervous, spending extra time on foreplay will increase blood flow to his penis, which will make his erection stronger and feel bigger when he enters you.

And don't forget to guide him to your hot spots too, showing him how and where you like to be touched. Helping you climax quickly will make him feel like a sex god and let him know he truly measures up, and deserves you.

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