6 Things Your Gyno Should NEVER Do During an Appointment

Your gyno visit doesn't have to be nerve-wracking. Really, the scariest part is often the unknown. And because you might not always know what to expect, you could be letting things slide that make you uncomfortable — and that's not OK. It's important to know what things your gyno shouldn't do and what you need to look out for, so you'll have the best experience possible. 

1. Your gyno should never judge you. While your doc or nurse is going to ask some very personal questions (like whether or not you've had sex, or if you're dating anyone), they should never judge your answers. Nothing you say will shock them or make them feel differently about you. So it's important to answer them honestly. "They just need to know the whole story to help you stay healthy," says Dr. Raegan McDonald-Mosley, chief medical officer for Planned Parenthood Federation of America​. "Doctors ask those questions so they can figure out if it's a good idea to test you for STDs, prescribe birth control, or identify possible pregnancy symptoms. They also ask you detailed personal questions in order to identify things that you need to know to​ improve your health and reduce risk, including whether or not you're in a healthy relationship.​" That means, tell the whole truth and don't leave anything you're afraid or nervous about out; they're there to help you. But Dr. McDonald-Mosley​ adds that if you don't feel comfortable spilling to your provider, or if they make ~any~ shame-y or weird comments, find someone else. "They are there to help you stay healthy, not shame you," she says. 

2. Your gyno should never share their non-medical, personal beliefs with you. It doesn't matter if your doctor is a Democrat or a Republican, if they believe in abortion or birth control, or what kind of TV they watch on their free time. They have to follow the law, and that means giving you the best medical advice they can and allowing you to make your own decisions. "It's not OK for them to tell you what you should or shouldn't do based on their personal beliefs," echos Dr. McDonald-Mosley​. "Your body is yours, and no one else's. If you're not comfortable, you can end the appointment quickly and consider finding another provider." 

3. Your gyno should never test you for anything without your knowledge. ​​​Whether you're sexually active or not, most exams come with a set of basics. Your gyno will usually want to do a pelvic exam to check your vulva, vagina, and other internal organs (the uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries)​​ to make sure they are all working how they should. You'll also get a breast exam to feel for any abnormalities. If you're over 21, you might get a quick pap smear, and if you are sexually active, you might need an STD test. But all of these things should be explained to you — in as much detail as you want before the test. "A gynecologist should let you know what they're testing you for and why, " says Dr. McDonald-Mosley​. "It's OK to ask what's going to happen during the exam up front. And if you don't understand something your doctor or nurse is saying, ask what they mean.​​"

4. Your gyno should never make you feel bad about your body. In fact, unless there is a serious, medical reason, your gyno probably won't even comment ​on your body. He or she should never make you feel uncomfortable about your body hair (or lack there of), tattoos, piercings, or any other unique trait. They shouldn't make you feel like you need to gain or lose weight unless there is a medical reason to do so. 

5. Your gyno should never do anything without explaining what they're doing and how it might make you feel. First of all, a gyno exam isn't like getting a bikini wax — you don't have to "tough" through it. It might not be fun, but it shouldn't be painful.​"Your gynecologist should do their best to keep you as covered and comfortable as possible throughout your visit, and that includes letting you know what they're doing and if you can expect to feel any discomfort," says Dr. McDonald-Mosley. "It's also important to let the doctor know if you feel any pain during an​ exam." If they are doing anything that makes you feel too much discomfort, you can and should ask questions or tell them to stop.  

6. Your gyno should never violate your confidentiality​. While your gyno shouldn't talk to your parents without your consent, if you use your parents' insurance to pay for the visit, a statement might come in the mail describing the services you had. If you're on a parent's or anyone else's health insurance and you're worried about confidentiality, call the insurance company to ask about their privacy policies. They might be able to adjust the statement. And if you're really concerned, look for a  Planned Parenthood. They'll work with you on the cost of the exam so you don't have to use insurance. No matter who your gyno is, your best bet is always to speak up and be honest, so you can receive the best health care possible for you.