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Actor Maanvi Gagroo Writes an Open Letter and Speaks Up Against #BoisLockerRoom

"The question is—How did we get here?" asks Maanvi Gagroo in an open letter and exclusive video for Cosmopolitan India. If you read just one thing today, make it this.

03 June, 2020
Actor Maanvi Gagroo Writes an Open Letter and Speaks Up Against #BoysLockerRoom

In a horrific turn of events, leaked screenshots of a private Instagram chat group run by a Delhi schoolboy have stirred outrage, sparking conversations about the underlying rape culture prevalent in India. In this group called "Bois Locker Room", numerous boys were allegedly seen sharing photos of underage girls, objectifying them, and planning "gang rapes”. The Delhi police is said to have identified  almost all of the 21 members ever since it was exposed on Sunday, and the group has since been deactivated. 

"The question is 'How did we get here?’” asks actor Maanvi Gagroo. In an open letter shared with Cosmopolitan India, Maanvi voices her dissent against #BoisLockerRoom, stressing that "We have to do better," and "‘boys will be boys’ is just not gonna cut it anymore". 

If you read just one thing today, make it this: 

Open letter by Maanvi Gagroo 

“The measure of any society is how it treats its women and girls”—Michelle Obama

#BoisLockerRoom

The question is ‘How did we get here?’ Is it the systemic normalization of violence against women in our pop culture? Casual rape jokes? Dated yet a deeply internalized idea of ‘giving the daughter away in marriage’ or the widely accepted assertion of patriarchal ownership our rituals are ridden with?! Yes, misogyny begins at home. It seeps through our words. It reinstates through our actions & it is enabled through our gender-based morality.

No, we cannot absolve ourselves of responsibility by blaming it all on bad parenting because this is not the first or the only time a ‘boys locker room’ has existed. And it sure as hell won’t be the last. We are all complicit. Every time you laugh at a sexist joke( sexism : noun ; discrimination, prejudice or stereotyping on the basis of gender), every time you decide to save for your daughter’s wedding but your son’s education, every time you ask a rape victim what she was wearing and why she was out.. every action of yours is potentially rewarding or punishing a young mind for their words and actions.

Why do we continually keep linking a woman’s character to her body and what SHE decides to do with it? And why don’t we see our men through that same lens of skewed rationality? Why have we placed a woman’s ‘izzat’ in her vagina but no such yardstick for her male counterpart exists?! We live in a society that accepts assertion of patriarchy in more ways than we care to realise.

Male privilege is real and male entitlement, a real threat. We need to do better than this. We need to bring our children up better. We need to adopt a Skinnerian model of punishing toxicity and rewarding empathy. We are shaping minds with our thoughts, words and actions. Every single moment.

We have to do better. And ‘boys will be boys’ is just not gonna cut it anymore.

Maanvi Gagroo

xxxx

Watch the exclusive video of Maanvi reading out her letter for Cosmopolitan India below:

 

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