"‘Courage’ Sometimes Can Be Highly Overrated...Accepting Yourself Can Take Years, Even Decades!": Masaba Gupta

Slowly and steadily working to turn all her fears into strongpoints and “sync her mind with body”, designer Masaba Gupta is not only is she proud to “have more strength than most girls” she knows, but she’s also not afraid to speak her mind (“I instantly fall sick if I don’t”, she laughs). Turns out, she was never really meant to fit the mould, after all. Talking to us from rains-soaked Goa, she opens up about what loving one’s self actually stands for to her, and all that it took for her to come thus far in that endeavour...

C: You wanted to be an actor, but were told it required a certain ‘body’. How do you take these kind of casual, unsolicited remarks?
MG: “I just don’t pay any heed! All of us have our own defence mechanisms, and mine is to not mull over things that are not important. So even at that time, I just moved on, and was like, ‘It’s okay, I’ll pursue something else’. Although I only made peace with it after I became successful as a fashion designer. But I hadn’t ‘decided’ to get into another career to prove a point, like ‘Oh I’m going to show these people’.  Also, ‘courage’ sometimes can be highly overrated...accepting yourself can take years, even decades! And no matter how many conversations we have about inclusivity and body positivity, I know for a fact that even in Bollywood, top roles are still reserved for only some and not the others.”

C: You were raised by Neena Gupta, a strong, single woman. That must have played a role, too...
MG: “The best part was that my mother was always brutally honest with me. And I saw both sides of her. One where she was the captain of her ship—took her own decisions, was independent both financially and emotionally, never let her mind get in the way of achieving what she wanted to, etc; but, also the downside of it...you know, where you’re extremely lonely, and don’t have anybody to talk about your day with? I saw her not going out only because I wanted to stay in, and she wanted to keep me company. I don’t think she had a social life for some 16 years, by the way, because of me! I picked up a lot from just watching her.  She is my biggest inspiration.”

C: If you could give your younger self any advice now, what would that be?
MG: “I’d say, it’s all a scam, so don’t worry! Just spend time with yourself, and get to know yourself...most people do it when it’s too late. And if you can count your friends on one hand, it’s more than enough, you don’t need more. Also, always speak your mind! People may call you too sensitive or too emotional, or even angry, or aggressive (I’ve heard that my whole life), but refuse to do anything but speak your mind!”

C: What is the one notion that you think is highly overrated, and women need to believe less in?
MG: “That a woman always needs to have a man by her side to be ‘complete’ or feel validated. Also, that women are women’s worst enemies. Neither is true. Also, we have been made to believe that we are physically less powerful than men, but I don’t think so. We, after all, have the power of bringing life into this world! And we are emotional, which helps us tap into another side of our personalities and understand empathy towards others.”

C: How do you handle toxicity on the Internet?
MG: “I don’t think there’s a way, really, to handle it, because it’s getting worse by the day. But it helps to switch off for some time. I watch or read something, talk to my mom and friends, get away from it for a while. Every day, there’s a new, negative comment thrown at you, so you just have to ride it out.”

C: What’s the one message you would like to give women who are battling society’s narrow beauty standards? 
MG: “Sure, you have to live in society, but you don’t have to live with those people, you have to live with yourself. So, always listen to what your heart is telling you first. Others will set a standard that is most convenient for them. But you don’t have to follow it, you make your own rules. And, just because somebody else is more beautiful, or different-looking, in some way doesn’t deny you of your beauty. Also, in this day and age, beauty isn’t a physical attribute anymore. It’s something that comes from within. As cliché as it sounds, you shouldn’t worry about your skin-colour or body-shape, all that fades away. If you’re kind and good-hearted, you’ll inherently be beautiful.”     

Location Courtesy: The Project Cafe, Goa