Fatima Sana Shaikh’s lifelong romance

We are well into this new year and while most ‘new year, new me’ resolutions have been long forgotten, Fatima Sana Shaikh is committed. High on her very doable list is exploring the Northeast of India, reading one book a month and formally learning to play the piano. What is not on the list is ‘falling in love with herself’ which as Oscar Wilde noted ‘is the beginning of a lifelong romance’.

At 34, the actor has learnt to celebrate all the chunks, kinks and lumps that add up to who she is. “Sometimes, you just don't understand why you are incapable of dealing with a certain situation. Why am I so explosive? Why am I not taking a moment, understanding, processing and then responding? I think once I started understanding all the whys, I began regulating those extreme emotions and found a place somewhere in the centre,” she says. Not only does she now have a better understanding of who she is but this has helped her build a better relationship with her family and given her the tools to deal with past traumas.

This big shift has also transformed her understanding of love and romantic relationships. “Earlier, I wanted my partner to be my friend, my lover, my lawyer…everything. Now, I don't expect my partner to be my therapist because I go to an actual one. Instead of getting upset that he's not understanding the intricacies of why I want to be a part of a film, I’d reach out to someone who is in the know,” she explains. This, in turn, has helped take the pain of being disappointed out of her everyday life: “All I expect from a lover is a very specific kind of friendship and understanding."

Reel versus real

Last year, Shaikh was a part of three very distinct love stories. In director Anurag Basu’s multi-narrative drama Metro…In Dino, she was one-half of a married couple struggling to decide between career and family. The easy-breezy, cross-cultural romcom Aap Jaisa Koi was all about the progressive Madhu Bose finding love with the conservative Shrirenu Tripathi (played by R Madhavan). And, the lyrical period drama Gustaakh Ishq had her playing a newbie poet. Of the three, the character she most easily identified with is Madhu. “She is someone who knows what she wants and needs. She is not going to compromise just because a man thinks that a woman should behave a certain way.”

While she describes the longing glances, flowery language and subtle gestures of Gustaakh Ishq Minni “charming,” Shaikh knows she’s too impatient to live in that world. “If someone has ghosted you in that world, there's hope and faith that they'll come back. It's a suspension of belief that I don't think I have in this day and age of hyper connectivity,” she says with a laugh. Our conversation, conducted over Zoom, quickly turns into a game of ‘do you remember…’ of long-distance relationships in the days before cellphones and the internet. “You'd have to wait for a letter or stand in a queue at an STD booth. Today, we are used to being in touch with our loved ones, especially partners, every minute of the day. I am too impatient as a person to not have an immediate line of communication.” 

 

Love rollercoaster

While being a champion for emotional intimacy in any relationship, Shaikh is also learning that too much proximity can be unhealthy. “I need to share my every thought, emotion and beat with my partner and expect the same from them. This can be stifling, so I am learning to wait for the person to share what they want at their own pace.” What is non-negotiable though, is physical touch. “I am physically a very affectionate person, which also means that I need my partner to be around me as much as possible.”

Around the world, millennial romance is moving from traditional checklists and ‘types’, and Shaikh is no different: “I don't have a particular type. The superficial physical attributes don't interest me anymore. I'm okay with anybody as long as that person stimulates me intellectually, as long as we can laugh together, and there is mutual respect.” Oh, and her partner needs to love travel just as much as she does. Her idea of a perfect date involves an early morning bike ride, hiking up a mountain and a dip in a waterfall.

A serial monogamist (“I’ve mostly been in very long-term relationships”), Shaikh has discovered in the last decade that dating as a celebrity is not the easiest. “You either have someone who has preconceived notions of what an actor is like or they are just too intimidated,” she shares. Shaikh remembers a blind date from a couple of years ago that quickly began to feel like being interviewed by a journalist. “He was asking a lot of questions and it didn’t feel like a conversation. At one point, I could hear myself giving diplomatic answers and that was the end of that date.”

Good vibrations

Shaikh started her career in the movies as a child actor in Chachi 420 (1997) and One 2 Ka 4 (2001) but landed her breakthrough role only in 2017 as the fierce Geeta Phogat in Dangal. In the years since, she’s delivered standout performances as the chaotic Pinky in Ludo (2020), as the young Indira Gandhi in Sam Bahadur (2023) and as a quiet house-help in the short film, Ayesha (2025). The 12-minute film tackles identity and societal perceptions as it follows a Muslim maid working in a Hindu household. Shaikh won her first Filmfare Award for Best Actor (Female) in the Short Film category for Ayesha at the 2025 Filmfare OTT Awards. “I don’t care what anyone says but I’ve been in the industry for so long and this validation feels very good.” The Black Lady now lives in Shaikh’s living room as a reminder of her grit and determination.

Shaikh’s roster for 2026 includes an untitled spy drama series with Bobby Deol and another untitled police procedural. This year marks a decade of her living in the spotlight. In these years, Shaikh has been forthcoming about her struggles with epilepsy and overcoming the pressures of looking perfect every time. “At one point my epilepsy was so out of control that I was always afraid of being in places with a lot of media. As I’ve grown older, I’m learning to be more comfortable in my skin,” she says. If she ever gets her hands on a DeLorean time machine, Shaikh would want to have a conversation with her 24-year-old self who thought she was the worst thing about Dangal. “I was so hard on myself, I wanted to hide under a rock. I wish I could tell the younger me to not be scared and live in the moment.” 

Editor: Snigdha Ahuja

Interview: Karishma Upadhyay

Photographer: Taras Taraporvala

Stylist: Nishtha Parwani

Cover Design: Mandeep Singh Khokhar

Makeup Artist: Disha Solanki

Hair Artist: Flavien Heldt; Agency, Faze Management

Editorial Coordinator: Shalini Kanojia

Set Design: Janhavi Patwardhan

Assistant Stylists: Vanshika

On Fatima: Bralette, Flirtatious, Embellished skirt, Chorus