12 Hilarious Texts That Define Your Sex Life

No. 5 tho.

21 March, 2018
12 Hilarious Texts That Define Your Sex Life

If you don't have friends who can text personal details about your sex life too, you aren't really living. The post-hookup gab sesh is sometimes (unfortunately) the most exciting part of the whole shebang. I wish it weren't true but like, sometimes it just is.

​1. When you think you're having a casual, NBD one night stand, but maybe you actually have a new roommate.

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​2.​ ​When you can't actually get laid because you randomly took home a condom connoisseur and he didn't come with his own supply, like a GD adult. 

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3. When you lose hope in all humanity (and all orgasms). 

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4. When you realize that old habits die hard and adult women can't walk around with hickeys at work.

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5. When you literally can't even describe the sexual experience you had and gotta meet up IRL to give a thorough play-by-play.

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6. When you have such a great orgasm that you become blessed with the ability to sing as beautifully as Adele.

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7. When you thought it was gonna be great but it was over so fast you can't really make a judgement call.

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8. When you feel as though the gods are slut shaming you for having  vivacious and exciting sex life, and remember why being a woman is unfair.

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9. When you are basically just a fuckboy.

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10. When you realize nothing will ever be the same after what you just experienced.

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11. When you are essentially a feminist hero and deserve a goddamn medal to be quite honest. 

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12. When your friends are salty AF but also supportive of your life choices. 

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​​Follow Hannah on Twitter. 

Credit: Cosmopolitan
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