How to stop texting someone who is not good for you

The moment you find yourself smiling at a text, know that you’ve landed yourself in risky territory. It can either go well—you may end up having a cute relationship or at least a good boost of confidence from the exchange of flirtatious texts—or you will find yourself hooked on texting someone who is just as good for you as that iceberg was for Titanic.

Your brain has tried to make you see they are not offering what you want from this connection. Your subconscious knows that they’ve made you anxious, given reasons to doubt yourself, and probably given a few blows to your self-respect. And yet, you follow your heart, burying the voice of reason under a huge pile of raging hormones and optimistic delusion. That, my friend, is a recipe for inevitable disaster.

If you’ve reached a point when you’re finally convinced that you need to stop texting them, well done! You’ve taken the first step to cut them off. But that’s still the first step, and you have a lot more to do before you can stop them from hurting your self-concept and feelings. 

If you are always tempted to reply to their texts and can’t stop yourself from dropping them a text every now and then, these tips will help you close that chapter for goooood. 

Write down all the negative things they make you feel

You wouldn’t want to stop texting someone who makes you feel happy in a sustainable manner. But when someone is inconsistent—making you feel ecstatic one moment and broken the other—several other negative feelings emerge in collateral damage. List it all down. And when you do that, you will realise that you have very legit reasons to cut them off. 

Talk to someone about it

Has it ever happened to you that you realise the intensity of things only when you start talking about someone mistreating you, to others? Listing their cons will make you wonder if you’re wrong about it all. It will make you want to be in denial and continue having access to those temporary bouts of joy. But when you talk to someone (a loved one or a therapist!) about this, it becomes more real. Your people will help you feel that your concerns are valid and you’re not imagining things. 

Delete their contact

Erase them—from your phonebook, gallery, and memories. Delete all their chats as well. This will help you not be tempted whenever you miss them too hard. Just, don’t convince yourself that there is some reason you need to find their contact again and text them. 

Say things you’d tell them to someone else

If you’ve ever had to move on from someone, you know how difficult it is to not be able to tell them things. They used to be the person you sent your selfies to whenever you had a girls' night out. They used to be the person you’d send many gifs to. What do you do now with all those gifs and selfies on your phone? Where do you put them? Find a volunteer (your bestie!) and make them your go-to person for some time. 

Don’t buy their sh*t

If they love to have you hooked on to them, they won’t let you off so easily. They will tell you all sorts of things to make you stay, respond to their messages, and continue to fan their ego (or whatever it is that you’re fanning!) Do not, I repeat, do not listen to them once you’ve made up your mind. Put your foot down and block them if you must.