Are you in love with your partner’s potential?

Are you someone who loves rosy rom coms? Someone who tends to overweigh the good in people? Or someone who always yearns for a happy ending? Well, if this short interrogation had you nodding your head, this article is for you.

When in love, potential is synonymous with hope. And hope as we all know, is as fatal a thing as it is relieving. Cheesy romantic movies, shows and social media have compelled us to conjure up the idea of a “perfect partner” but one thing that remains true in any relationship is the fact that no one is “ideal”, and one can only try to constantly work on their inconsistencies for the person they claim to love.

However, what happens when “nobody is perfect” turns into an excuse to ignore all the red flags? You let go of your own needs, succumb to delusion, and cling on to the person’s potential to one day “change” in order to meet your expectations.

Baffled much? We’re here to explain. Read on to learn if you’re in love with someone’s potential.

Signs you are in love with someone’s potential:

You make excuses for them

When your friends sense toxicity in your partner way before you do (as always), that deep belief you possess in the fact that your partner has the potential to be better, simply makes you create new excuses for them every time. You would do anything to “overprotect” your relationship and how people perceive it, intending to give an impression that you are perfectly happy, even if it may call for some excuses. But think about it, maybe he is not “too busy” and maybe, you’re not asking for “too much”.

You find solace in the future and refuse to live in the moment

The power of potential is such that you feel impelled to put blinders on all your problems in the present and dwell over that “one day” when your partner will finally fulfill your expectations and prioritize your relationship. Unfortunately, however, living in a fantasy, does not create a fantasy. Obsessing over what your partner “could be” suggests that you in love with an idea of them, not the reality of who they are.

You are unwilling to accept their flaws

All of us have problems that can be rectified. Though relationships often change us, the decision to alter those flaws should come from within, and not under the cloud of constant external pressure. Projecting your expectations onto your partner, knowing that fulfilling them may be out of their capacity is exhausting and always lead to disappointment. If the idea of your partner remaining exactly the same changes the way you feel about them, you’re probably in love with their potential.

You have a fear of abandonment

Most people wish to sail through a relationship, no matter how good or bad it is, just because they have an underlying fear of being alone. These issues mainly stem from childhood experiences and patterns. In such a situation, one may prefer waiting for their partner to change rather than leaving, giving them the impression that they don’t necessarily have to change or give you a reason to stay.

You feel unheard and isolated

In an endeavor to maintain an “idyllic” relationship, you often find yourself in a position where you can’t share your thoughts or feeling with anyone because that would require you to step out of delusion and accept the truth. This deepens the feeling of abandonment and makes you feel isolated in your own relationship.

Falling in love with someone’s potential is easy and occurs to the best of us, but it is imperative to recognize the toxic patterns and telling yourself that “you deserve better”. Of course, it is easier said than done. However, one needs to start somewhere, and the first step could be knowing what you expect out of a relationship, attempting connect with your true feelings and try to have an open conversation with partner. Accepting the reality of a person is always better than facing disappointment.