Girl math is here to expose the emotional labour imbalance in your relationship

Because listening to his trauma and rewriting his breakup texts is not a love language.

10 July, 2025

Girl math is here to expose the emotional labour imbalance in your relationship

There’s girl math, and then there’s girl math for emotional labour—a budgeting strategy for all the time, energy, and effort you’ve been investing in emotionally unavailable men, only to end up with nothing but a “wyd” text at 2:17 am and the honour of ghostwriting his breakup texts (yes, to the ex he said he didn’t care about).

Let’s break it down: you gave up your lunch break to redo his CV (for a man who still doesn’t know the difference between there, their, and they’re), ruined your sleep schedule listening to his podcast idea (a healthy mix of stolen tweets and ChatGPT), and somehow still ended up comforting him about his situationship. All this, and the ROI? A side hug so brief you questioned reality and got a front-row seat to his emotional chaos.

The council has spoken. It’s time to walk away from these unpaid internships in people’s lives and apply a little Girl Math logic to your emotional output.

Welcome to the Girl Math: emotional labour edition.

Listening isn’t a love language

Let’s get something crystal clear: listening to his childhood trauma does not equal a half-hearted “how are you?” (sent at 2 am). Girl, you go to therapy to receive emotional stability—not to become someone else’s unpaid therapist. But here you are, paying for his healing with your mental peace, and getting absolutely nothing in return.

Meanwhile, your phone’s battery died—and so did your hope of ever receiving a decent “How are you?” that wasn’t just a bored translation of “wyd.” This isn’t a relationship. It’s a hostage situation disguised as intimacy, with him quietly extracting free therapy from you.

You’re not his corporate parole officer

Queen, you just spent three hours listening to him talk about his first girlfriend like she’s the one who got away—while he’s with you—and then ghostwrote his breakup text to her. And somehow, that still doesn’t qualify you for a relationship title… but he does like your “vibe.”

That’s like saving someone’s life and being rewarded with an expired cookie—tempting on the outside, but rotten at the core. You’ve been doing emotional HR, admin, and damage control on his behalf—and you’re not even getting paid in love, effort, or basic respect. This is not hot girl behaviour.

This is not a plot, it’s a disaster

You told him you wanted better communication, and he responded by calling you “too much” and “insecure”—and then you cried for hours. But somehow, a poorly cooked bowl of ramen was enough for you to give him another chance? Girl. No.

And just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, he tells everyone you’re “his girl,” says you can’t see anyone else, then slides into every girl’s DMs he can find. But when you call him out for going on a sneaky trip with his girl best friend (which he “forgot” to mention until you found the boarding pass on his desk), he says, “But I took you on that amazing date—how can you not trust me?”

Sir. You took her to an ice cream stand near the beach, didn’t buy her the ice cream, and left halfway through because “your boys came over.” Sit your audacious self down.

We are now entering our healing era. And just like Girl Math justifies nine coffees from Third Wave for a free cookie, Girl Math: Emotional Labour Edition exists to solve one crucial equation:

Some equations for you:

Equation 1: Listening to his trauma till 3 am + Him telling you about his first love and not moving on = “You’re so easy to talk to. I can’t imagine my life without you” (talking to 4 other girls on the apps)

Equation 2: Checked astrological compatibility + read attachment theory pdfs to understand his behaviour = “sorry just bad at texting lol. wanna come over?” (Girl, what are you doing?)

Equation 3: Called you insecure for wanting consistency + offered you ramen because he was eating some = “you get me.” (ghosts the next day and hard launches another girl)

Girl, no amount of financial literacy and Wall Street mentality can convince you that this emotional investment can achieve anything but emotional bankruptcy.

But don’t worry. We’ve got you covered with a budgeting plan that’ll save your heart.

Emotional labour budgeting

The Retainer: No, not Harvey Specter. If someone expects you to be emotionally present in their lives, expect the same in return. If they can’t pay an emotional invoice, don’t give him your choice.