How to ride your man for heightened mutual pleasure

Don't be hesitant to take charge!

31 August, 2023
How to ride your man for heightened mutual pleasure

It’s no secret that women find it difficult to orgasm through penetration alone. And this is why the cowgirl position a.k.a. the woman-on-top a.k.a. the rider is such a fan favourite. You see, unlike others in the classic sex position category (missionary, doggy etc), cowgirl allows for deeper penetration (we’re talking G-spot orgasms), clitoris and other erogenous zones stimulation, and a high level of intimacy. It’s a win-win situation with you at the helm.  

However, there is no denying that the cowgirl position can be slightly daunting. You might get self-conscious or wonder what your orgasm face looks like from the vantage point of your partner, and these nagging thoughts get in the way while you’re trying to focus on feeling the pleasure. Then, there is also the technique; it takes practice to set a rhythm that gets you and your partner off. So, if you are someone who stays away from this position for any of these reasons, we’re here to help. We’ve rounded up a few tips you can use to ride your partner to glory! 

Grind, don’t bounce 

Whether you’re riding a penis or a strap-on, the first rule is to use your hips. While bouncing like you’re Duracel-powered bunny might feel fun at first and it definitely looks hot to your partner, it’s not doing anything for either of you. It is very tough to find the right stopping point. That is, the partner on the bottom will keep slipping out, which will eventually weaken the boner, especially if you come back down at a bad angle. Not to mention, continuous bouncing will tire you out which is no fun for anyone.  


Instead, think of yourself as a belly dancer and move your hips. You can make hip circles or figure eights if you know how to. But for all those of us who aren’t ametuer Shakiras, simply grind back and forth. Try bending slightly forward or arching your back and alternating between speeds to find the right angle that feels mutually pleasurable. Once you have a hang of the position, try starting out extremely slow and building up your speed gradually; a little teasing never hurt anyone! However, if you find the position tough to sustain, you can always hold on to their thighs or chest or ask them to hold your waist to help you find a steady rhythm. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, it doesn’t have to be precise. 

Try sitting up cowgirl  

Okay, we know what you’re thinking—you are sitting in cowgirl! But have you ever tried having your partner sit as well? It might be more comfortable if they have a wall or the bed’s headrest to support them (and indirectly, you). This not only allows for deeper penetration but also makes it easier for them to use their fingers and mouth to stimulate your nipples and clit. Talk about mutual pleasure! Also, just like the lotus, this position is extremely intimate and it can get your sexual intimacy soaring. 

Throw a vibrator in the mix  

Want to take cowgirl to the next level? Try bringing your friendly vibrator into the game. Get your partner to hold it against your clit while you ride them at a steady pace. This will add a whole new dimension to your sexy times and will lead to a dual orgasm (not simultaneously, this isn’t a movie!). 


Don’t be afraid to be slightly selfish  

More than the position itself, your confidence is sexy. It’s the way you take charge of the situation. So, don’t be hesitant or self-conscious. Focus on yourself and your pleasure. More often than not, your partner is just glad to be part of this. You have all the control here, so tell them what you need them to do without hesitation. 

PS: If you want to assert yourself more, try blindfolding your partner or even restraining them. This will elevate the whole experience. But before you do this, have a conversation with your partner. Consent before everything else!