A recent poll revealed that 16 percent of Americans had filmed themselves having sex. And when we spoke to Cosmo girls, 6 out of 10 said they had attempted a sex video or photo. If you’re one of those who’d like to ‘give it a shot’, read on...
Sex Therapist Amanda Joy Robb reckons there are plenty of reasons people roll the camera on their down ’n’ dirty, “Couples make sex tapes to bring spontaneity and thrill into their relationship, to solidify commitment, or just for fun and foreplay,” she says. They can be a great way to add an extra spark, and give you a blow-by-blow look at your ‘performance’, so you can improve your mad skills. If you want to channel Paris, Pamela or Kimmy K, there are a few things to consider before digging up the tripod and dusting off the lingerie.
This may seem pretty obvious, but before you start setting up cameras in every dark corner, make sure you discuss the idea with your partner. “Introduce the idea lightly, with emphasis on it being a playful option and not a relationship requirement,” advises Robb. Make a quick throwaway comment about it, and suss out how your partner reacts. If he or she seems keen, take the conversation further. It’s important to get full consent before you hit ‘record’, and this goes both ways. Choose carefully who you film yourself with—they could use the footage for good or evil.
Start off on the right track by laying down ground rules. What will happen to the film? Will you watch it once together and then delete it? Will you keep it completely private or share it? If you’re worried about the security of the footage, film it on your own camera, so you control who sees the tape, and keep files in a password-locked folder. That way you can keep your O-face to yourself.
You’ll also want to sort out your on-camera action beforehand, so you can avoid any awkward ‘You want to put what where?’ moments. Have a practice run through of any new or particularly tricky positions before you record— nobody wants their reverse wheelbarrow-turned-faceplant caught on film for all eternity.
If you’re feeling extra creative, consider ‘role play’ to really test out your acting talents: we’re talking sexy schoolgirl and teacher, doctor and nurse, model and photographer, etc. Playing a character rather than yourself should help you let go of some of your inhibitions, so embrace your inner actress!
When you’re getting set up for your big shoot, consider how you want the finished product to look. What kind of angles might work? Is there any location you have in mind, and how would you want it set up? (Note: you don’t want any photos of mum and dad in prime position so clear the family snapshots away before you get the camera rolling.)
It might be wise to invest in a few candles to get that über-flattering and soft-mood lighting happening. If you’re worried you’ll feel shy, pop the camera on a shelf out of sight—that way you can get into the moment and it’ll be a flattering angle.
So you don’t waste valuable air time, get excited before you hit record, and have everything rearing to go. Start off with some foreplay and even watch a little porn together—just make sure that you don’t get too excited or there could be a spoiler alert!
Go for positions that are flattering and comfortable, give you both equal time on screen, and won’t make you cringe when you watch it back. Consider what’s going to turn you on and what might creep you out. For example, remember that if you do sexy faces straight down the barrel of a lens, you’ll end up making awkward eye contact with yourself later, when you become the audience.
Once you’re good with all the visuals, it’s time for that other really important element: audio. Go for a few oohs and aahs by all means, but don’t feel obliged to get overly pornographic about it if it’s really not what you’re usually into—there’s only so much ‘Who’s your daddy?’ a girl can take before it starts to get weird. If you want to skip sonic awkwardness altogether, select some sweet tunes to play over your natural lovin’ sounds.
IT’S A WRAP
As they say, it’s all fun and games till someone sends a footage of your naked-thrashings to all of your friends and family. Sadly all the planning, position selection, and role-playing in the world can’t help you if things turn sour with your sex-tape partner. It’s wise to have a pact to destroy the file should your relationship status change, but sometimes extra measures are necessary.
Robb suggests that the situation should be handled delicately, while also protecting yourself. “If your ex threatens to share the video without your consent, I would encourage you to get legal advice immediately,” she says. “That’s particularly the case if they threaten to upload the video on the Internet, as this is illegal.”
That said, prosecutions are rare— so if you’re not sure about the guy or simply don’t want to risk it, delete the romp as soon as you’ve watched it. Lastly, have fun! This is meant to be lighthearted and pleasurable, so don’t take yourself too seriously. Take your time, listen to one another, so you end up with a sexy souvenir of your time together.