I’ve never quite mastered the art of on-and-off-again relationships. Call me petty, but my exes are blocked the moment we decide we'd rather watch Stranger Things with rando Tinder matches than with each other...aka, we breakup.
Yes, I not only block their phone number, Snapchat, Instagram, and Venmo—but also their mother, their father, second cousins, and first grade teacher. This pretty much kills any chance of reconciliation from both me and my ex (who is maybe still waiting on his text to be "delivered").
This, my friends, is called the "no contact rule"—and honestly, it's helped me move on from all my past relationships (okay, more like situationships) relatively quicker than my friends who still text their exes "u up?" at 2 a.m.
"The 'no contact rule' is where you don't call, text, or message an ex in any way after the breakup. It includes not talking to their friends or family about them or the breakup itself," says dating and breakup coach Lee Wilson.
There's also no set timeline, either. If it works for you to have a month-long "no contact rule," do your thing. If you want to be like me and permanently cut them out of your life for good, go for it. "Do it as long as it takes," says Wilson.
That said, it can be effing hard to master this rule. It takes a lot of willpower and personal restraint—particularly if you see your ex at your favorite dive bar.
If you're considering giving it a shot, here's what seven women had to say about their experience with the "no contact rule," and why it might be your best bet at moving on:
Now, if you just can't seem to delete (or block) your ex long enough before the frosé starts calling them again, that's okay—you're not alone. Try changing their name in your phone so you're reminded *exactly* what you're doing any time you pull up their contact.
"When you see your ex's name, it may still bring sadness to your life or quite literally make your heart flutter," says clinical psychologist Tricia Wolanin, PsyD. "That's why I recommend changing the name in your phone temporarily to 'pathetic asshole' or 'idiot.'"
Hey, whatever works to stop you from calling or texting, right? This will look a lot like your beginning to happiness—TRUST.