6 things to ask your partner before committing to them

Ready to level up your love life? Keep these things in mind before things get too real!

24 March, 2024
6 things to ask your partner before committing to them

The initial stages of being in love are exhilarating; it makes your heart skip a beat and gives you butterflies every two seconds. Sure, those awkward first dates are thrilling, filled with witty banter, stolen glances, and the joy of discovering someone new. But before you get swept away in love, it's important to take a deep breath and navigate a crucial stage in your relationship—that is the "What are we?" conversation. After all, true love isn't just about butterflies and stolen glances; it's about building a foundation of understanding, which allows you to grow together, one honest conversation at a time. So here are six things you should ask your partner before you commit to them.

What are their goals and aspirations?


Do you both dream of scaling mountains together? Or is one of you a dedicated homebody? Do you both wish to start a family in the future? Or is it off the table? Or perhaps you both want to prioritise your career for a few years before starting a family. Discussing long-term goals can reveal areas of exciting compatibility, like a shared desire to travel the world. However, it can also highlight potential clashes. Maybe you crave a bustling city life while your partner yearns for a quiet life in the countryside. Openly discussing these differences allows you to be mentally prepared for what you’re getting into. 

What are the deal breakers?

We've all heard the horror stories about relationships that crumble because of fundamental differences. So having open conversations about deal breakers allows you to identify potential incompatibilities early on. What are their non-negotiables in a relationship? Is fidelity paramount, or do you both have a more open-minded approach? Discussing deal breakers with honesty and respect can help you avoid a heartbreak down the line.

What are their quirks?

Knowing each other's quirks and embracing them can strengthen your bond. What are some of their weird habits or unexpected personality traits? Maybe they are a neat freak who colour-codes your closet, or perhaps have a strange obsession with collecting vintage postcards. Openly sharing these quirks allows you to laugh together and build a foundation of acceptance.

What are their financial goals?

Let's be honest, finances are a big part of any relationship. Discussing financial goals and habits with your partner before commitment isn't about being cold-hearted, it's about building a secure future together. Do they dream of owning a home, travelling the world, or starting a business? Discussing spending habits can help you find common ground and create a budget that works for both of you. And sharing your financial situation shows your partner you trust them and are committed to building a future together.

What is their love language?


Do they feel loved through acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, or gifts? Understanding your partner's love language allows you to express love in a way that truly resonates with them. At the end of the day, everyone has their own love languages, so  learn to speak each other’s love language fluently!

How do they deal with conflicts? 

Disagreements are a normal part of any relationship. Do they tend to bottle things up or express their frustrations in a fiery outburst? Understanding your partner's conflict resolution style (and your own!) can help you avoid misunderstandings. By discussing how you typically handle conflict, you can brainstorm healthy coping mechanisms together. Maybe you take a cooling-off period before talking things through, or perhaps writing down your feelings helps you communicate more effectively.

Also Read: 5 things to keep in mind while dating someone older

Also Read: How to deal with a partner who gets defensive in conflicts