Are men facing a crisis in love because they are refusing to get better?

Love in 2025 feels like a slightly chaotic group project—half the class is overachieving, and the other half has quietly decided they’re not participating. And according to multiple studies, more men are opting out of relationships not because they don’t want intimacy, but because they don’t want the self-work that intimacy demands.

Yes, the “lonely man era” isn’t just a TikTok punchline—it’s becoming a measurable social shift.

To be fair, modern relationships are hard work. They require emotional availability, actual communication, mental health awareness, shared responsibility, and the ability to take accountability without turning into a sulking potato. And while women have been levelling up—reading, going to therapy, unlearning old patterns, and choosing themselves—a chunk of men has hit pause. And not the healthy, reflective kind. More like: “If relationships need growth or accountability, I’ll just play FIFA and send memes instead.”

Why is this happening?

One big reason is that gender roles have shifted faster than emotional conditioning. Women were raised to be communicative and empathetic. Men were raised to be tough and emotionally bulletproof. Now, relationships reward the traits many men were discouraged from developing. Women aren’t looking for a provider—they’re looking for someone who can apologise without turning it into a two-hour performance.

Then there’s hyper-individualism. “I don’t need anyone” and “Relationships are too much drama” get thrown around casually, often as a cover for avoiding emotional growth. Many men know relationships require vulnerability—but instead of leaning in, they’re opting out.

For decades, women were expected to accommodate, adjust, and emotionally over-function. Not anymore. Gen Z and young millennials are collectively saying: “No, thanks.” With financial independence, emotional literacy, and higher standards, women now want reciprocity, softness, equality, and consistent effort—not someone who treats emotional labour like an optional extra.

So while women are levelling up, some men feel “left behind.” And instead of catching up, they’re stepping out—not because they don’t want love, but because love requires growth, and growth feels uncomfortable.

Men aren’t just choosing singlehood—they’re sliding into loneliness. Friendships are surface-level. Dating apps feel draining. Emotional skills aren’t being built. And when love does show up, it feels “too demanding” simply because they never learned the language.

Of course, plenty of men are doing the work—and it shows. Emotional evolution is not only possible; it’s genuinely attractive. Therapy isn’t cringe. Accountability isn’t emasculating. Communication isn’t “too much.” Love isn’t drama. This generation still wants connection—it just needs a reboot in how men show up for it.

The crisis isn’t that men can’t love. It’s that many won’t do what love requires. And that’s a fixable problem—once they stop running from themselves.

Lead image: Netflix

Also read: Should you really worry about your relationship or is the internet serving you fake red flags?

Also read: 5 signs you’re in a ‘comfort zone’ relationship and how to fix it