Could you fall in love three times? The Three Loves Theory says yes

Third time’s the charm?

16 August, 2026

Could you fall in love three times? The Three Loves Theory says yes

As we navigate the rigmarole of romantic relationships, we tend to learn a thing or two about life, love, and more importantly, ourselves. Some liaisons bring peak emotional intensity, others arrive with the sweetness of puppy love. In the end, each seems to move us closer to where we’re meant to be—a placeholder in our evolution as individuals.

Over the years, many have attempted to make sense of how and why we fall in love. The late Helen E Fisher, American anthropologist and human behaviour researcher of the biology of love and attraction, maintains that for different people, love can start off with either lust, romantic attraction, or attachment, and that these overlapping—and often interlinked—systems are triggered by bodily chemicals.

Meanwhile, American psychologist Robert Sternberg proposes the Triangular Theory of Love, comprising of intimacy, passion, and commitment. But beyond biology and psychology, love is deeply personal...and human. And the Three Loves Theory builds on this experiential reality of falling not once, not twice, but thrice, until you find “the one”.

The first love

This is the all-consuming, high school kind of love that sweeps you right off your feet. A stepping stone, it resembles the magic you see in movies. You’re experiencing that almost unfathomable butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling, and all’s right in the world. You’re living in a fairy tale, convinced your relationship will weather all storms. Unbeknownst to you, this is a trial run of love, and will likely leave you parting ways. This relationship tends to be more surface-level, shaped as much by external perception as by genuine compatibility. That’s not to say the heartbreak isn’t immensely painful, but you’ll recover from it sooner than you think.

The intense love

This one is known to turn your world upside down. It’s a rollercoaster of a relationship—a mirror into your soul reflecting your deepest desires, wildest fears, and most irrational insecurities right back at you. Expect to feel all the feels: Jealousy, possessiveness, self-doubt. It’ll teach you valuable lessons, helping you grow and evolve into the person you want to be—and be with. You’ll experience high highs and low lows, trying to mould yourself and your partner into ideal versions. By the end of it, you know exactly what you want from a relationship.

The unconditional love

Once you’ve healed from your intense love and know right from wrong, then comes a more unexpected love out of nowhere. It feels just right—no games, no drama. You’re home. You readily embrace their imperfections, quirks, and feel more like yourself than ever before. When faced with an obstacle, you work together, not against each other. You’re now committed to arrive at a solution for your future together. This relationship could mark the beginning of forever. You now realise true love exists, and it’s possible to feel completely safe, adored, and protected.

This article originally appeared in Cosmopolitan India's July-August 2026 print issue.

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