Your Sex Horoscope for the Weekend

Your Sexoscope for the week of April 26–May 2:

Aries

If you’re single AF:

This weekend finds you in a more social mood and you’re ready to go out and find your next hookup. You’re feeling frisky and flirting your ass off...but no one takes the bait. Your pride may be hurt and you may feel low for the first half of the week, but by Wednesday, you’re back to your normal, confident self.

If you’re hooking up but haven’t DTR yet:

Instead of hooking up with your boo, you’re hanging out with your besties this weekend. If you party too hard, don’t worry—the first few days of the week are pretty low-key so you can recover from any hangovers. You’re missing your crush hardcore at this point, but don’t stress, by Wednesday they get up with you and you can reunite for some fun.

If you’ve been together forever:

After a relatively easygoing weekend, things between you and your S.O. turn south at the start of the week. There’s a miscommunication—forgetting an important day or a mistaking a remark as shady and it sets you off! …right before you realize you had the situation all wrong. Yikes. Think long and hard about what you’re gonna say so you can kiss and make up at the end of the week.

Taurus

If you’re single AF:

You’re feeling pretty extroverted this weekend, so instead of scrolling through your Tinder matches to find your next hookup, you decide to step out for a change. Don’t get too litty—that guy at the bar might seem real cute through your beer goggles, but try to make sure you're actually into him and he's not a total douche.

If you’re hooking up but haven’t DTR yet:

What’s the deal, lately? Things were going great, but this weekend, someone may spill some tea about your crush leading you to rethink the whole situationship. Don’t block their number quite yet, though! Consult your friends, get their insight, and when you’re feeling levelheaded, ask what’s up. Chances are, it’s all a big misunderstanding and you’re completely fine!

If you've been together forever:

You’re one of the most loyal and loving signs, always willing to go to the moon and back for your partner, but damn do you know how to hold a grudge—you always forgive, but never forget. One wrong shady remark about your partner is all it takes to start an argument that rains on your entire week, if you’re not careful. If there’s an issue, be direct about it—passive-aggression is your worst enemy this weekend.

Gemini

If you’re single AF:

This weekend, you can’t wait to hit up your favorite clubs and mingle with all the hotties at the bar! You strike up a conversation with the cutest person you see and decide to take them home for more fun! Grab their number before they leave—you’re non-committal as they come and can leave a hookup just a hookup, but this time you might develop a little crush!

If you’re hooking up but haven’t DTR yet:

This weekend you’re more in the mood for a day trip with the friends, so you cancel your date with your boo. You need plenty of space in relationships, so weekends like this are a necessity for you. Once the week starts, you’re still needy for space, so you keep leaving your partner on read, but they just won’t quit! If they don't know that you need a little distance to be happy, tell them. They might take it personally otherwise.

If you’ve been together forever:

Sh*t hits the fan this week and hits you where it hurts the most—your wallet. Maybe you find out that your partner forgot to pay the electric bill, or you accidentally ran a red light in their car—either way, there’s an added expense that creates friction between you two. Try to stay calm and brainstorm a solution—the emotional energy is running high this week, so an argument now is especially hard to deal with.

Cancer

If you’re single AF:

You get the notification you matched someone cute on Tinder on Friday, start talking, and by Saturday night you’re hanging out with them! You’re crushing hard, having a great time, and decide to spend the night, but the next morning, you spy them messaging someone different—ouch, that’s awkward. After dealing with your hurt feelings, you swear off dating apps forever, aka until the end of the week when you’re bored again!

If you’re hooking up but haven’t DTR yet:

After an extra-hot hookup with your crush this weekend, you can’t imagine yourself not being with them—that is, until you see a text or Snapchat notification on their phone from their ex! Your instinct when hurt is to either hide in your shell or lash out with your claws. You definitely don’t want to lash out this time! Just talk about it when you’re ready, and by the end of the week, the situationship ends—either because it upgraded to a LTR, or you part ways.

If you’ve been together forever:

When you love somebody, you want to mother them, nurture them, and protect them, so when your S.O. lashes out in a bad mood this weekend, you take it extra personally because you feel like you’re not doing enough for them—even if their attitude has nothing to do with you. Relationships are undergoing big changes for your sign this week, so don’t retaliate if you get hurt or it’ll all snowball out of control. Just tell your partner to watch it next time, and you can establish a healthy boundary instead.

Leo

If you’re single AF:

You’re at the bar this weekend, on the prowl for your next hookup, but no one is catching your eye—that is, until a familiar face walks in! It’s that person you had a huge crush on years ago, or maybe a friend you haven’t seen in ages. You start catching up, but before you know it, you’re waking up next to them on Sunday. How do you feel? How do they feel? Let them know whether you want it to be a fling or not—it’ll save a lot of headache and heartbreak down the line.

If you’re hooking up but haven’t DTR yet:

You’re hanging with your crush all weekend long, going on cute dates, boning, but something doesn’t feel right. Things are going great—too great—so there must be a catch, right? Your week is muddied up by Neptune’s foggy interference leading you to feel anxious or even paranoid, but listen—acting sus around your crush isn’t doing you any favors. Stop overanalyzing their every move and trying to catch them in the act and just have a good time!

If you’ve been together forever:

You have a light, romantic night with your boo laid out in the stars this Friday, and as the weekend continues, you’re spending more time in the bedroom as the mood gets deeper and sexier. The intimate vibes carry on through the week, and it’s a very emotional few days—luckily for you, your mood is reflective of your relationship. As long as everything is running smoothly, you have a great week ahead!

Virgo

If you’re single AF:

Sorry, Virgo, but duty calls and all weekend you’re busy with work and errands instead of getting into any fun. Working weekends suck, but once the actual week starts you’re less stressed and have time to spare. Why don’t you text your crush? You’re the shiest sign, so something as little as sending the first text petrifies you, but you have to find your voice if you want any action this week!

If you’re hooking up but haven’t DTR yet:

This weekend finds you doing some spring cleaning or on the clock instead of seeing your boo. Being productive is like, your favorite thing ever, so you’re not too salty about it. It’s actually a nice distraction from how much your situationship stresses you out! You need a label! Are you two a thing? Are you not a thing? There’s only one way to find out, Virgo, and that’s by asking—you should try it!

If you’ve been together forever:

If date night’s scheduled this Friday or Saturday, better cancel the reservations! You’re likely to get called into work or have a major long to-do list on these days. Luckily, you’re in the clear by Sunday and can spend at least one day with your lover this weekend! Make the most of your time and treat your partner to a great fuck—the hot-and-bothered astrology makes for unforgettable sex and it also helps you de-stress from your busy weekend!

Libra

If you’re single AF:

Love is in the air this weekend, and whether you’re looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now, your love life is looking busy! If you link up with someone new that you have great chemistry with, trust and believe you’ve found a good match. Stay in touch with them and meet up for round two (or a date) this week and you won’t regret it!

If you’re hooking up but haven’t DTR yet:

Your indecisiveness is showing! Your weekend is great; you’re with your crush, you’re wooing them with your typical Libran charm, and the sex is good, but once the week starts, you swing the other way and feel like ghosting them. WTH, Libra? Flirtationships have a limited lifespan, and playing these types of games just wastes everyone’s time! Your boo asks you to step up to the plate and take this thing seriously this week—what’s your answer?

If you’ve been together forever:

The world outside your relationship is picking up speed and stressing you out, but this weekend is yours to do what you want and have fun with your partner. This astrology supports sex, romance, and pleasure, so take advantage of it! Come Monday, you’re back on your 9 to 5 grind and it doesn’t lighten up til the end of the week.

Scorpio

If you’re single AF:

Although you’re more in the mood to stay in this weekend, there’s still plenty of action to be found. Just slide into the DMs of your cutest Tinder matches and you can easily find someone to invite over! Once they get to your place and the action starts, you catch feelings fast! Don’t say you’re in love quite yet—the murky influence of Neptune is known to cloud your judgement when it comes to your feelings about others.

If you’re hooking up but haven’t DTR yet:

Your Netflix and chill plans go exactly as planned this weekend, and you’re not even mad you’re missing all of The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina because of how much fun you’re having with your boo! The relationship-oriented vibes of Taurus season paired with most of this week’s Pisces moon feels hella romantic, so now’s a great time to make your move and define the relationship.

If you’ve been together forever:

Date night is this weekend, but you’re opting to make dinner and watch a movie at home, instead. The stars are aligning in your horoscope to give you a passionate weekend with your lover. Emotions are running high, which is great when you’re both feeling the love, but if any arguments break out, they can get explosive fast!

Sagittarius

If you’re single AF:

A blast from the past, like your shady ex, pops up on Tinder while you’re swiping, putting you off romance for the rest of the weekend. You spend the first part of the week reflecting and unpacking all the shitty memories associated with them, which isn’t easy—but by the end of the week, you shed a lot of baggage you didn’t even know you had.

If you’re hooking up but haven’t DTR yet:

You value your freedom over everything else, but to other people that mindset sounds a lot like “I have commitment issues.” Just a heads up, your boo gets close to that point this week and comes to you with an ultimatum: do you or do you not want to be together? Your usual instinct here would be to bolt away as fast as possible, but you really like this one…So what’s the worst that could happen from adding a title to your relationship?

If you’ve been together forever:

You’re running out the door to go to work this weekend when your partner hits you with “Oh, you’re working another weekend? Okay. See ya.” You know they’re mad as all hell, so try to spend extra time with them when you’re not clocked in. They’re only throwing shade because they feel neglected and don’t know how to bring it up, so show them you’re listening and you care by addressing it and talking things out. It only takes a second and means a lot.

Capricorn

If you’re single AF:

You’re looking for love, but nobody knows you’re single and ready to mingle because you don’t open up to new people! There’s nothing wrong with having boundaries, but when they prevent anyone else from getting close to you, you can’t have a fulfilling connection. This week, try to work on putting yourself out there–a Tinder match not responding is the lowest risk

If you’re hooking up but haven’t DTR yet:

You’ve only let your situationship develop at a pace you’re comfortable with, but your boo is getting bored! You can refuse to open up and define the relationship until you’re ready, but here’s the tea: you’re a control freak and need to feel like the ball’s in your court. Sorry, but in any relationship, no one person is in charge, and if you refuse to keep up with your boo, they’re allowed to dip.

If you’ve been together forever:

Your sign gets a bad rep for being stone cold and aloof, but you’re not really—you just take your emotions very seriously and don’t want to be vulnerable or feel hurt. You put up so many walls because it protects your feelings, but lately, your partner has felt like you’re blocking them out. You trust your partner, so why all the walls? Honor your feelings and indulge your partner this week and surprise them with a romantic dinner date, or wow them by trying something other than the missionary position in bed!

Aquarius

If you’re single AF:

This weekend is a particularly lusty one! You’re usually pretty lowkey when it comes to love and sex, but you’re riled up right now! Hey, as long as you’re having a good time, just go with it! You’re sure to see sparks fly when you hook up with your latest Tinder match, but this high-energy astrology is this weekend only. If the chemistry lasts until the end of the week, however, you have a potential LTR on your hands!

If you’re hooking up but haven’t DTR yet:

This weekend’s astrology is skewing your perspective on your situationship! It starts off with something little; a little shade gets thrown or there’s a disagreement that snowballs until you flip out, thinking you’re not good enough, your partner deserves better, etc. It could also be the opposite, with you texting all your friends about how your boo ain’t shit! Don’t jump to conclusions or make any big decisions that you’ll regret later—this mood swing only lasts a couple days.

If you’ve been together forever:

When it comes to romance, you and your partner both know it isn’t really your thing. Aquarius is an incredibly complex sign—you’re a lot of things, but one thing you’re not is snuggly. This weekend has you in your feels, big time, but you can still have fun by exploring the romantic, emotional side of things. Your sex drive is fuele

Pisces

If you’re single AF:

This weekend isn’t off to the best start—your mood is off, you need space, and you’re overwhelmed. You know what might help? Hit up your group chat and see what they're up to. You’re all hanging out, and someone brought along a friend of their own, and you can’t keep your eyes off them—you wanna climb them like a tree, frankly. Make sure to get their number before you say farewell!

If you’re hooking up but haven’t DTR yet:

You’re feeling torn between your love life and your friends, and you’re struggling to find equilibrium. Yes, the balance between your social/romantic relationships is off, but that’s because you’re spending so much time on keeping the two as separate as possible. Your friends are a huge part of your life, and this situationship is becoming pretty major, too, so this tension is telling you it’s time to introduce the two. This doesn’t mean defining the relationship, but it does mean taking it a little more seriously.

If you’ve been together forever:

This weekend is digging deep to uncover any hidden truths in your relationship. If your partner is being unfaithful (or maybe you’re the shady one!) then expect some sort of exposé to get everyone on the same page. If your love life is running smoothly, this is a good time to make sure you’re both on the same page about the future you envision with each other. Do you want to move in together soon? Is it time for the marriage talk? Does your partner want to have kids? TBH, your partner’s answers might surprise you.