5 star signs that will emotionally wreck you—and make you thank them later

Sometimes character growth comes from journaling, therapy, or meditation. And sometimes, it comes from a walking red flag in perfect Instagram lighting and a leather jacket. In fact, studies have noted a spike in therapy sessions after encounters with these star signs. They’ll rearrange your schedule like a piano, turn your contacts into a Rubik’s cube, kidnap your bank account, and send out a search party (so thoughtful). Before you know it, you’re deep in your villain arc, until your therapist steps in to smack some sense back into you.

These signs will just wreck you with ‘crying-into-my-salad’ moments, slam-dunk your vulnerability, and send your bank account into free fall because you needed therapy—plus they’ll also have a sensor that triggers the moment you start moving on, pinging you with a perfectly timed ‘you up?’ text. They didn’t fix themselves, babe. They’re back for round two of emotionally destructive tonsil tennis because the first time just wasn’t enough.

Scorpio – The gaslighting arsonist

Ruled by: Pluto (read anarchy) and Mars (read fury)

15 mins of fame: the emotional terrorist with a matcha ‘obsession’

Anyone defending the Scorpio hate is just a Scorpio getting called out. Dating one of these Loki-level mischievous, soul-wrecking types is a one-way ticket to permanently relating to every sad Lana Del Rey song, with joy on indefinite leave. They’ll tell you about their first love, stare into your eyes like a wannabe SRK, call you ‘his girl,’ and then vanish into thin air, claiming they’re locked in, battling demons at the gym. What were you processing, sir? The consequences of your actions? It’s like going to a doctor for pain, and instead of healing it, they press harder until it hurts ten times worse.

Ruled by: Mercury (read multicommunication disorder)

15 mins of fame: the multipurpose loverboy and professional ghoster

Now that Gemini season is over, let’s get real: Where did you even learn to mix vulnerability, charm, a morally grey book boyfriend, and the ghoster from The Flash—all in one personality? Gemini communication often gives ‘never been burned by a first love’ and ‘emotional unavailability ft. situationship with their first love.’ Trying to figure out which is which will give you whiplash. One day he'll show up with your favourite flowers, 'just because’, and then disappear for two days with his ‘girl best friend’, only to return with colour corrector on his neck. Common side effects post Gemini-situationship include the addition of emotional availability and consistency to your manifestation list, and a three-year down payment on therapy. 

Ruled by: Jupiter (delulu optimism)

15 mins of fame: Travel plans hidden like the ark of the covenant

Ah, the surreptitious love of a Sagittarius. He won’t commit to a situationship with you, but two hours later, there’s a blurry pic of him with another girl titled ‘partner in crime.’ And the kicker? He’s not even in your city. When you ask, he shrugs it off with, “Oh, I was so drunk, just enjoying this new city and lost track.” He’s always on a boys’ trip that somehow includes a stunning girl whose name he won’t share. He’ll get “real” with you, then disappear to Goa for some ‘soul searching’ aka locking lips with someone else at a yacht party.

You’re not dating a man. You’re dating a delayed transatlantic flight with thrice the baggage.

Ruled by: The Sun (not like it helps you see his red flags better)

15 mins of fame: Making himself the main character of your story

If you think a romantic moment with a Leo man feels perfect, authentic, and beautiful, think again. He’s crafted it carefully to fool you into ignoring his red flags, casting himself as the main character in both your story and his. There’s nothing more suspicious than a Leo being honest, vulnerable, and loving just for the sake of it. Watch out for metaphorical cameras and receipts he’s collecting to love bomb you, only to vanish the second you ask for more. And when he ends your “situation”—ahem, mistake—he’ll hit you with the classic, “You deserve the best,” while acting like he is the best. Sir, what delusional gas are you smoking?

Side effects include impulsively buying a pair of sunglasses so oversized and overpriced they try to hide your red eyes, and your new obsession with Taylor Swift's ‘The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived’. 

Ruled by: Uranus (exists to disrupt your peace)

15 mins of fame: Multitasking by loving and ghosting at once

Unhealed Aquarius men. How I abhor your ability to convey passionate love and philosophical ghosting in one sentence. They will send you playlists with soft ‘I wanna be yours’ coded songs, confess their love to you, then call you his best friend and won’t want to ‘take a risk’, but will still trap you in an emotional limbo of ‘I can’t imagine my life without you’ and ‘you deserve better than me’, and an added bonus of ‘this girl flirted with me today so I flirted back for sport’. His poetry is about you, but it’s so lacklustre you begin to wonder if he despises you. But he’ll convince you you’re the centre of his universe while he teleports to the universe Interstellar was shot in. 

You think you’re dating a creative thinker, but in reality, you’re emotionally trapped with a man who can’t spell ‘therapy’. 

Ladies, these signs will wreck your sleep, undo months of therapy progress, mess up your group chats with emotional drama disguised as slow-burning love, and make sure your most played song is Taylor Swift’s ‘Better Man.’ But honestly, it’s for the best. You’ll become the strong, confident person you’ve been working toward—plus a little unfiltered wisdom (because you earned it). When you look back, you might feel a bit annoyed, but by then you’ll have healed enough to realise this: karma’s a relaxing thought, aren’t you envious that for you it’s not?

Lead Image: Netflix

Also read: Zodiac signs that are the most compatible with Sagittarius

Also read: 5 Zodiac signs that will be lucky in love this year