Where do Indian's get their audacity to comment on bodies?

"She's too skinny, she needs to eat."

"What happened to her, where did all that weight come from?"

"She looks like she swallowed a whole person."

Yes, these are things I've heard real people say in real life to me, to people I know, and even strangers on the internet. It’s almost a national pastime—passing unsolicited comments about someone’s body. Aunties at weddings, uncles at family gatherings, friends who should know better, or complete strangers on Instagram—no one seems to think twice before turning another person’s body into dinner table conversation.

And while this is a common happening across the world, it is, for some reason, much more common in Indian households, where “beta, you’ve put on” is often said with the same casualness as “have you eaten?” Somewhere along the way, body commentary got normalised, treated as care, humour, or just blunt honesty. Bollywood hasn’t helped either: decades of glorifying heroines with one “ideal” body type and mocking characters who don’t fit that mould have quietly fuelled a culture where body shaming is seen as entertainment. But this isn't just about being overweight or too skinny, or too tall or too short, or simply looking a certain way, which for some people is just not the ideal body type. 

Growing up, I was a skinny child. I didn't starve myself, I didn't even work out. It was just good genes, I guess. But for some reason, a 12-year-old girl's admittedly bony frame was of tremendous concern for people who weren't burdened with the responsibility of feeding me. And of course, this only fuelled my anxiety about loving my body. I spent the next couple of years hiding under baggy clothes, trying to disguise my bones like they were shameful secrets.

The psychology of commenting

Why do people feel entitled to comment on bodies that aren't their own? And no, it's not just to critique. Even the compliments tend to feel underhanded sometimes. The most popular one being, "Oh, you've lost weight, you look so good." This comment may not seem ill-intentioned, yet it tends to imply that the body one had before just didn't look good enough. It also tends to feed into the toxicity. Because have you ever seen someone get sad or offended after they were told that their weight loss made them look good? 

Psychologist Dr Marika Tiggemann, in her research “You look great!”: The effect of viewing appearance-related Instagram comments on women’s body image found that even positive appearance-related comments on social media can lead to increased body dissatisfaction. She wrote, "Exposure to appearance comments led to greater body dissatisfaction than exposure to place comments."

The thing is, in India, commenting on someone’s appearance is somehow seen as caring. A compliment, a critique, a casual observation—it all gets lumped under “concern.” That’s how body commentary gets normalised: people feel perfectly entitled to share their opinions about bodies that aren’t theirs. But research shows that even remarks meant to be harmless can stick, especially when the focus is on looks rather than overall health or well-being. 

Stories that sting

Ask anyone and they’ll have a story. The girl who was told she looked “better before” after losing weight. The guy was mocked for being “too short” to be taken seriously. The bride-to-be, whose relatives asked her to diet so she could lose weight before her wedding. The young teen was told her body was “not proportionate.” The stories are endless, and the emotional toll is real. In fact, I asked a few friends in the know if they were ever scrutinised about their bodies, and here's what they had to say. 

Ayesha, 26

"I was diagnosed with PCOS at 23, which explained why I’d been gaining weight during the last couple of years. And I was used to judgmental stares from strangers who, you know, are just thinking 'maybe if she ate less,' 'maybe if she worked out more.' I don't feel the need to say or do anything, but I feel so helplessly annoyed when it comes from people who watched you grow up. My neighbour auntie saw me at the local market, and the very first thing she said to me after hello was, ‘You've become so fat, yeah, what happened?’ I thought about explaining that I had PCOS, but she didn't take a minute to stop and think about it, so why should I bother?"

Rhea, 29

"I’ve always had a pear-shaped body—narrow shoulders, a smaller waist, and wider hips. Most of the time, it didn’t bother me, but growing up, my relatives made sure it did. At family gatherings, the very first thing my grandmother would comment on was, “Why are you wearing that? It's making your butt look fatter.” It wasn’t even a question—it was a statement meant to shame me. I know bodies come in all shapes, but hearing it from people who’ve watched you grow up, who’ve seen you struggle and change, it just sticks with you. It took me years to stop apologising for my body and realise it’s completely normal—and none of their opinions actually matter."

Manav, 30

"Guys are always shamed for their height. If you’re under 5'9, people act like it's the worst thing in the world, like a disease or something. Growing up, I was no stranger to short jokes. My friends and relatives would tease me for not drinking Complan as a child, like that would somehow fix everything. They still ask me if I'm still expecting a growth spurt. Even now, at family dinners, it's like my height is the only thing they can talk about. Uncles will casually joke that I should wear lifts or shoes with heels. Some will candidly talk about the limb surgery that gives you a few more inches, like it's not a dangerous procedure at all. It’s exhausting and annoying, and sometimes painful, I won't lie." 

Sara, 25

"It was a random Tuesday at work. I was wearing this new pair of jeans I just bought, which made me look and feel really good about myself. I even got a lot of compliments for it. Cut to the afternoon, I was in the ladies' room, and the cleaning lady, who is genuinely very sweet, told me I looked good, and then proceeded to tell me that I should only wear jeans instead of dresses, because dresses made me look fat. I was dumbfounded but also felt a little bad for her." 

Santya, 23

"It’s funny how most people assume fat-shaming is the only form of body-shaming that deserves attention. But being shamed for being thin is just as real, and sometimes even harsher. Having been lean my whole life, I’ve often had people casually throw comments at me like, “You don’t eat at all” or “Why don’t you eat more?” Growing up, I brushed it off as harmless until a recent incident really hit me."

"At the gym changing room, a woman I barely knew said, “You’ve lost even more weight, why don’t you eat more?” I laughed it off with a, “Haha, I eat plenty, I just work out a lot.” But she doubled down with, “You look like you’ve come from Ethiopia.” That comment stuck with me not just because it was offensive, but because she had no right to comment. In India, people often feel so free with their words. It’s almost cultural—the unfiltered remarks, the unsolicited advice, the constant commentary. Whether it’s your body, your career, or your lifestyle, people here rarely hold back, even with strangers."

The social media megaphone

If body comments were limited to nosy relatives at family gatherings, they’d still sting—but social media has turned the problem up to eleven. Now, the audacity multiplies behind screens, where strangers feel entitled to drop unsolicited opinions under selfies, reels, and stories. One minute you’re celebrating a new outfit or a fresh glow, and the next, someone’s typing, “Wow, have you gained weight?” or “Are you even eating?” The commentary is relentless, often cruel, and usually anonymous—making it harder to shrug off. Unlike a fleeting remark at a wedding, these words linger in the digital echo chamber, replaying in your head long after you’ve scrolled past.

How to push back

So, how do you navigate this never-ending chatter about your body? The key is boundaries, both online and offline. With relatives, a simple but firm, “I don’t want to talk about my body,” can be enough to shut down the conversation. And sometimes being radical isn't enough, which is why it's best to be ready with a few sassy responses that will call them out on this behaviour and make them think twice before commenting on someone's body. 

As for online trolls, you have the power to mute, block, or curate your feed so that negativity doesn’t take up space in your head. And sometimes, the simplest way to deal with body shamers is to not engage at all—your body, your rules, and their opinions don’t get to dictate the conversation.

At the end of the day, this isn’t really about your body; it’s about respect. Your body, your choices, your appearance—they’re yours, not something anyone else gets to critique. And until people get that, they’ll keep feeling entitled to comment. And if you're someone who can't help but comment on someone else's body, ask yourself one simple question: Why do I think this is my business?

Lead image: IMDb

Also read: #BodyTalkWithCosmo: Skinny in Seoul, curvy in Cairo—how weight is seen around the world

Also read: Why does the internet get so uncomfortable when women lose weight?