Why low-effort friendships are saving our social lives

Picture this: It’s a weekend afternoon. You’re sprawled on the couch, enjoying the rare quiet between deadlines and family plans. All of a sudden, your phone buzzes with a meme from a college friend you haven’t seen in months. You both laugh, trade a few messages, and carry on with your day. There's no guilt, no passive-aggressive “We never talk anymore,” no plans made under pressure. This is a snapshot of what many are calling the low-maintenance friendship—and it might just be the healthiest kind of relationship we can have in adulthood.

At its core, this kind of friendship doesn’t need constant texts or grand gestures to last. You don’t have to check in every week or meet up every month. It’s like a song you can pause and play without missing a beat. And when you do catch up, it feels like no time has passed—no one’s keeping score.

For those of us balancing work, relationships, and our mental health, the idea of “maximum closeness with minimal effort” might sound like a cop-out. But low-maintenance friendships are often built on real trust and quiet confidence. They’re a reminder that not replying right away doesn’t mean you don’t care—it just means you’re human. 

The allure of low-maintenance friendships

The appeal is obvious: these friendships are free from drama, unspoken expectations, and the exhausting need to constantly prove you care. You’re not measuring the friendship by who initiates conversation more or how often you meet. Instead, you trust the foundation you’ve built together, allowing space to grow as individuals without fear that the friendship will crumble if you don’t water it daily.

Especially in adulthood, where friendships can often feel like one more task on an already overwhelming to-do list, low-effort friendships offer a breath of fresh air. They provide emotional support without the weight of obligation. You can show up for each other when it truly matters—whether that’s celebrating a promotion, being a sounding board during a breakup, or sending that random meme on a stressful day—without feeling the need to apologise for the silence in between.

Actually good for us, or just being lazy?

While the phrase “low-effort” might sound like a cop-out, these friendships often require a different, deeper kind of effort—the effort to trust, to let go of insecurities, and to accept that people can care about you even if they’re not constantly around. It’s a maturity that allows the friendship to exist without pressure, giving each person the freedom to navigate busy lives without guilt or fear of losing the bond.

Low-maintenance friendships are also more intentional. Because you don’t talk all the time, when you do connect, you’re likely to share what truly matters instead of defaulting to small talk. There’s less room for pettiness or miscommunication because the expectation is honesty and understanding, not constant contact.

In a world that demands our attention 24/7, these friendships are a quiet rebellion. They remind us that connection isn’t about frequency, but about presence. You don’t have to perform friendship to prove its worth. Instead, you can allow friendships to ebb and flow naturally, trusting that a solid bond can handle periods of silence.

And let’s be honest: we’re tired. We’re tired of feeling like bad friends because we couldn’t reply to a message after a long day, tired of overthinking why someone left us on read, tired of feeling that relationships are another area where we’re falling short. Low-maintenance friendships give us permission to be human while still remaining connected to the people we love.

At a time when social burnout is real and everyone’s emotional bandwidth is stretched thin, these chill friendships might just be the ones keeping us sane—and reminding us that, sometimes, the best relationships are the ones that quietly adapt to the chaos of real life.

Lead image: Netflix

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