Whether you’ve been together five months or five years, there may come a point where sex starts to feel a little routine. And while there’s nothing wrong with knowing exactly how to make each other (or yourself) climax, trying something new can inject a serious jolt of excitement back into the bedroom—or, you know, wherever. Enter: your sex bucket list—an adventurous checklist of spicy ideas and new-to-you experiences designed to keep the heat on high. “A couple’s sex bucket list is an agreed-upon list of sexual activities and experiences they want to try together,” says Lelo sexpert, licensed psychologist, and certified sex therapist, Laurie Mintz. “At its core, it helps partners communicate openly about sex, break free from sexual ruts, and intentionally spice things up.” In fact, even just creating the list can be a turn-on. Aside from being fun, novelty in the bedroom can also boost connection and intimacy. “Desire doesn’t necessarily thrive in extreme familiarity,” says Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, a certified sexologist and co-host of the Loveline radio show. “It thrives in novelty, excitement, adoration, and devotion.” And FWIW: You don't even need to have a partner to make a sex bucket list. In fact, maybe you just want to make one for yourself that you hope to check off over the course of a lifetime! Like something out of a feel-good movie, but with less sap and more full-frontal. Whether you're single, married, eager to explore fantasies, aching to rekindle your libido, or simply want something NSFW to do with your lover on date night, making a sex bucket list has serious pros. And because we love you so, so much, we made one for you. Bookmark it, print it out, save it as a Note on your phone—however you want to work your way through it, we support you. Start slow, keep communication open, and remember: This isn’t about checking every box. It’s about connection, curiosity, doing what feels good, and having fun doing it. 1. Put on a show. If the idea of being watched turns you on, this one’s for you. You could do a private strip tease for your partner, record yourselves for future ~viewing pleasure~, or even log onto a safe, anonymous platform to share the moment with strangers (consensually, of course). Exhibitionism comes in all levels, and you get to choose what feels exciting, empowering, or just fun for you. “Research shows novelty increases dopamine and oxytocin,” says Dr. Tara, “and for people who love adventure and excitement, this can be correlated to sexual satisfaction.” It’s giving main character energy—and that’s hot. 2. Try the Yab-Yum position. Think of Yab-Yum as foreplay for your soul. Inspired by tantric practices, it’s all about syncing your breath, gaze, and touch with your partner—like a spiritual WiFi connection with benefits. “It’s a beautiful cocktail of arousal and emotional closeness,” says Dr. Tara. Whether you're having sex or just sitting there face-to-face, heart-to-heart, the goal is to be fully seen, grounded, and, yeah, probably a little turned on. Hot tip: Try it without sex the first time and see if you don’t end up making out anyway. 3. Start (or join!) a sexy book club. Whether you do this with your partner or your best friends, Dr. Tara says there’s nothing better than reading a super raunchy book and comparing notes afterward. Not only will you probably find some inspo to add to your actual sex bucket list (like, idk, having sex in a barn or something), but it also works great as mental material the next time you need a little stimulation. Plus? There’s so much erotica out there—everything from classic rom-com spice to outer space tentacle sex. Gotta read 'em all. You know, for research! 4. Experiment with different kinks. A kink is basically anything that arouses you, and there are tons of different ones out there. Maybe you like the feeling of latex against your skin? Or getting spanked? Or wearing heels in bed? Try some different kinky moves and ideas out. 5. Wear a strap-on. Whether you're having sex with a person with a vagina or enjoying pegging—aka, acting as the top in anal sex with a (usually) male/AMAB partner, which fully deserves another spot on this list—wearing a strap-on dildo can make you feel powerful. Everyone deserves to feel what it's like to have a dick. 6. Switch it up. A switch is someone who enjoys both dominant and submissive roles. While most people identify somewhere along the spectrum, and it can change depending on your partner, it can be illuminating to at least try a role reversal. So, if you're usually submissive, ask your partner or next hookup if they're down to let you dom them for a night, or vice versa. 7. Try massage as role play. Foot and Yoni massages are hot, which is why they both earned a spot on this list, but you can also get off on back (or full-body) massages. Have your partner rub you down, pretending they're your actual masseuse, and if you consent, they can “take advantage of you” (we mean that in a role-play way) by having the massage appointment turn into much more. 8. Sleep with two people in one day. Single? Non-monogamous? Looking for an adrenaline rush? While practicing safe sex, of course, and if the opportunity presents itself, consider indulging in the rush of power and eroticism that comes with sleeping with two different people in one day. 9. Wear an animal tail butt plug. Butt plugs are super cute, but have you checked out anal toys that come with a tail? You can role-play being someone's pet, but like, a super cute unicorn pet. 10. No kissing. Taking away kissing from the sex menu heightens the rest of the experience and allows for Pretty Woman-coded role-play. Holding back on traditionally vanilla options can make for the kinkiest of sexperiences.
