7 signs you’re falling out of love with your partner

The feeling of falling in love is unmistakeable in the very best way. You're excited and loose track of time when you're with your partner, you miss them when they're not around, and the butterflies in your stomach are next-level. But how do you know when you're falling out of love? That feeling might not be as obvious, which is why we consulted sex and relationships therapists about how to identify it, and more importantly, how to deal with it.

An important caveat, though: Just because you're not head-over-heels for your partner anymore, doesn't necessarily mean the relationship is doomed. In fact, staying in the honeymoon phase (AKA, those early months or years of the relationship when everything seems fun and new) forever isn't realistic, explains sex and relationships therapist Kaylee Rose Friedman, LMFT. During this time, “we tend to overlook the qualities we dislike, and as we get to know the person better, our own projections are replaced by the truths of who they actually are,” Friedman says. Once you're out of the honeymoon phase and life get's real, as time goes on, you might find that you're both changing—which is normal and human! But if you're becoming increasingly incompatible instead of growing closer, take note.

“If you have core values that do not align, this may cause you to look differently at the person you are in a relationship with,” explains sex and relationships therapist Karen Washington, PhD, LMFT. Unfortunately, this new lens may “diminish the positive feelings you have,” she says, and as a consequence, you might find yourself falling out of love.

While only you can really know how you feel about your S.O., here are some signs to look out for, according to experts.

1.You Don’t Think (Or Really Care) About Your Partner Anymore

“A big sign you've fallen out of love is a complete sense of being checked out from the relationship,” Washington explains. Your partner no longer feels important to your day-to-day life or your future, and you may even find yourself daydreaming about moving on with someone else, Washington says. And while fantasizing and some levels of waning interest in your partner’s daily happenings is completely normal, if you simply don’t care about them or your relationship, that's a pretty telltale sign you're falling out of love.

2. Your Sex Life is Deteriorating

Okay, first off: There are tons of factors that could affect your sex life in a relationship. Maybe you're both really busy, or overwhelmed with work or school, or in a transitionary period where sex isn't top of mind—and that's okay! A lackluster sex life does not always have to mean you’re falling out of love, Washington says.

However, “relationships that are on their way to being over will likely have a lack of sexual interaction,” Washington explains. If you don't feel good about your partner, you're probably not going to feel good about being intimate with them. But everyone's situation is different. Ask yourself whether there are any present situations you can point to that might explain your lack of sex. Is it about them, or is it about what's happening around you? Do you still feel desire toward your partner? Is this issue one that you want to fix? Your answers might be able to point you in the right direction, and don't be afraid to seek help from a certified sex and relationships therapist to help you find them.