Does he love you? Here are 12 signs to look out for, according to experts

The sprint through the airport, the grand speech, the perfectly timed “I love you” that lands like a mic drop. In theory, dramatic declarations of undying affection are pretty obvious. In reality…most people aren’t out here delivering monologues on cue.

Instead, if you’re sitting here wondering, “Does he love me?” it probably looks a lot less cinematic than rom-coms make it seem. It’s quieter, a little less obvious, and—if we’re being honest—sometimes kind of confusing. Because while yes, the clearest way to know if someone loves you is for them to say it, not everyone gets there on the same timeline, and not everyone expresses love in the same way.

“Learning the skill of clear, direct communication is one of the most helpful things for your relationship,” explains marriage and family therapist Alyson Bullock. But until you’re both there, it’s normal to look for signs in how someone shows up day to day.

And that’s really the key. As Suzanne Wallach, PsyD, LMFT, a licensed psychotherapist specializing in relationships, explains, love tends to show up more in consistency than intensity. It’s less about one big moment and more about patterns—how someone treats you over time, how they respond when things aren’t easy, and whether their actions line up with what they say.

That said, it can still feel a little murky, especially early on. Fortunately, there are some clear behaviors experts point to when it comes to real emotional investment.

Here are some of the most common signs he loves you (and what they actually mean in practice).