Why is dating fatigue hitting harder than ever?

I’m exhausted from modern dating, and no, it’s not just me. As a 28-year-old single woman, I’d love to unsubscribe from the emotional rollercoaster that is modern dating. If I had a rupee for every time I re-downloaded a dating app just to “see what’s out there,” I’d have enough for a weekend home in Goa, where I could live peacefully with my cats and inner peace. But here I am, still swiping, still hopeful, and still being matched with men whose entire personality is either “dog dad” or a shirtless mirror selfie with their jawlines peeking out from behind the phone. Bonus points if they think emotional depth is sharing their Spotify Wrapped... or sex.

I’m not bitter—just deeply, profoundly tired. Tired of curating bios like I’m applying for a job with Elon Musk. Tired of being funny (I’ve wasted so many good jokes on dating apps). Tired of talking about myself like I’m a TED Talk speaker. What used to feel like a flirty adventure has slowly morphed into a high-effort, low-reward job with no appraisals—just emotional shin splints.

This isn’t about giving up on love. It’s about wondering when dating turned into an unpaid internship. So why is dating fatigue hitting harder than ever? Is it the paradox of choice? The emotional burnout? Or is it the rise of aesthetic loneliness disguised as self-care? We're here to break it down—because if you're tired, disillusioned, or secretly considering marrying yourself, you're definitely not alone. 

Swipe, regret, repeat

Once upon a time, swiping right meant butterflies. Now it’s just muscle memory. We swipe while brushing our teeth, while binge-watching Bridgerton, or while we're halfway through an email to our boss. The thrill is gone, there's not magic—just another gym selfie and a bio that reads, “Sapiosexual. Looking for vibes. Swipe right to know more." (Whatever that means.)

Dating apps promised abundance, but what we got was decision paralysis, ghosting epidemics, and enough dry “hey”s to last a lifetime. Honestly, if I get one more of those dry openers, I might just dump a bucket of water—or my favourite moisturiser—on my phone.

Choices, choices, and some more choices

In theory, having options is great. But when you’re juggling conversations with three people who all look vaguely alike and say things like, “Let’s catch up for coffee sometime, or do you smoke?"  it starts to feel like you’re stuck in a badly written series. Seriously, are there any men who send sweet texts anymore?

Modern dating has become the human equivalent of scrolling through Netflix for 40 minutes, then giving up and rewatching Friends. There’s so much to choose from that we end up choosing nothing—or worse, something terrible, because we were tired and hungry and didn’t want to die alone. Worst decision ever.

Ghosting, breadcrumbing, and other soul-crushing buzzwords

Let’s not forget the horror show of modern dating terminology. Once, people broke up over coffee. Now, they vanish into thin air like magicians with commitment issues. It’s no wonder we’re tired. Dating now is like a game where the rules change every week, no one explains them, and no one actually wants to win. UNO seem less complicated at this point, TBH.

Pandemic PTSD and the fear of small talk

Blame the pandemic. Two years of wearing pyjamas full-time and mastering the art of Zoom flirting didn’t prepare us for the reality of real-life first dates again. Being back out there after that feels like social bootcamp. What do you even talk about on a first date anymore? “How many times did you delete Hinge?” “Is this your first time meeting someone off a dating app?” Umm... am I doing this whole ‘dating’ thing wrong?

The rise of the soft life and why it’s okay to tap out

Gen Z and millennials are embracing the “soft life”—less hustle, more self-care, less emotional rollercoaster, more peace. And sometimes, dating, with all its complications, just doesn’t make the cut anymore.

Maybe you’d rather do face masks with your besties than go on yet another disappointing date with someone who says “Let’s chill” but never actually makes plans. Maybe you want a break—and that’s okay. Taking a break doesn’t mean giving up—it means you know your worth. And refusing to settle for below the bare minimum? That’s the real flex.

Featured image credit: Netflix

Also read: Is soft dumping the silent breakup killing your relationship?

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