Hello and welcome, we are gathered here today to talk about Pete Davidson’s dating history, a confusing and inexplicable sequence of events that are best described as ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Pete, man who had a dildo named after him, has managed to find himself in multiple A-list relationships over the past several years, his current one being with Kim Kardashian. Like, maybe he’s born with it. Maybe it’s
Maybelline big dick energy. The world will truly never know!
But as Kim and Pete continue to galavant through tropical islands together, perhaps you find yourself asking some questions. Questions like: How did we get here? When will it end? Am I hallucinating? Sadly, these are rhetorical, but what we can provide is a deep dive into Pete’s dating history, a deeply horny timeline that might shed some light on *gestures wildly* this whole thing.
Kim Kardashian: October 2021 to Who TF Knows
It all started when Kimberly and Pete were spotted holding hands at Knotts Scary Farm in California, a truly shocking sight to the internet. Sure, sources who may or may not be named Kris Jenner tried to claim that the pair were just friends, but then Kim arrived in New York City (sorry, “Pete Davidson’s native New York City”) and found herself having a romantic dinner on Staten Island. The next night, she and Pete were then spotted on another date, and a source was out here telling E! News that “whatever is going on between them is exciting to her.”
Now, a source is saying Kim and Pete are talking “future plans and moving in together,” according to Us Weekly. “They’re very secure with their relationship,” the source said. And get this: Kim recently dished about Pete on The Kardashians, saying, “I wasn’t even thinking, like, Oh my god, I’m gonna be in a relationship with him. I was just thinking, like, Heard about this BDE, need to get out there. Like I need to just, like, jump-start my…I was just basically DTF.” Welp!!
TBD whether or not Pete and Kim continue their clandestine meetings on Staten Island and beyond, which many say is the Paris of NYC, but we’ll be sure to let you know! I guess!
Phoebe Dynevor: February 2021 to August 2021
Phoebe and Pete started dating at the beginning of 2021, right at the height of Phoebe’s post-Bridgerton fame. The thing is, their relationship was long distance—which at first worked just fine! Pete flew from ~his native~ New York City to Phoebe’s hometown in Manchester, she visited him stateside, and eventually they went public at Wimbledon in July. And by that, I mean they were spotted kissing in the stands.
Image Credit: CosmopolitanUS
But guess long distance took its toll, because P&P broke up just a few months later in August. At the time, a source told The Sun that their “busy work schedules” made hanging out difficult and said “it’s become increasingly obvious it is going to be difficult to make this work. Phoebe and Pete were last together in the UK in July but since he flew back to the States, he’s not seen her. People can’t just jump on planes and jet around the world when they want to. It has made everything more difficult. It was pretty telling when Phoebe headed to Croatia with her mates this week rather than going to see Pete in America.”
Kaia Gerber: October 2019 to January 2020
Dating rumors kicked off when Pete was seen leaving Kaia’s New York City apartment in October, although sources once again tried to claim they were “just friends.” Like, WE’RE NOT NEW HERE, SOURCES! Anyway, these two were seen on several dates through November 2019, and an insider eventually told E! News, “Kaia and Pete are definitely in a romantic relationship. They have been friends for a while now and run in the same friend circle but became romantic recently. They started hanging out alone more often after meeting up in NYC in October. Kaia expressed she loved Pete’s personality. She thinks he is charming and is very intrigued.”
Image credits: CosmopolitanUS
Pete vaguely hinted at the rumors about him and Kaia on SNL while talking to Colin Jost, saying, “Yeah, and it’s not fair, Colin. You get to date a famous woman and everyone’s delighted, but when I do it, the world wants to punch me in the throat—what’d I do? If I’m your type of guy that your daughter—or mother—is into, then trust me, I’m the best-case scenario. There are a million guys who look like me and I’m the only one with a job. It’s like me or Tyga.”
Margaret Qualley: August 2019 to October 2019
Us Weekly broke the news that Pete and Margaret were a ~thing~ in August 2019, and apparently she was super into him, with a source saying, “They’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months and Margaret is really excited about him.”
Pete was even seen sitting behind Margaret at the Venice Film Festival premiere of her movie Seberg, pretty much confirming reports.
Then in September 2019, Margaret’s mom Andie MacDowell told People that she and Pete have “a beautiful relationship,” which was awk because they broke up in October, lol.
Kate Beckinsale: January 2019 to April 2019
These two were first linked after leaving a Golden Globes after-party together, when a source told Page Six, “They were flirting all night and sipping champagne.” Delightful! And it didn’t take them long to go public, by which I mean they were spotted making out at a hockey game, traumatizing Queer Eye’s Antoni in the process.
BTW, they spent a lot of time being trolled, which Kate was not having:
And Pete even went on SNL to hit back at everyone worried about their age difference, saying, “Oh, yeah! Apparently people have a crazy fascination with our age difference, but it doesn’t really bother us. But then again, I’m new to this. So if you have questions about a relationship with a big age difference, just ask Leonardo DiCaprio, Jason Statham, Michael Douglas, Richard Gere....”
He makes POINTS, but alas, this relationship ended in April—when a source told Entertainment Tonight that Pete and Kate were “still friendly but are not on romantic terms.”
Ariana Grande: May 2018 to October 2018
I’m already exhausted, but here we go: Ariana and Pete were first linked in May 2018, when a source told People that he was chilling by her side after the Billboard Music Awards, saying, “After Ariana’s performance, they were backstage and he had his arm around her. They seemed very lovey-dovey. He was hanging out with her and her friends with his arm around her. She seemed quite smitten.”
And then things escalated. Quickly.
Ariana and Pete ended up getting engaged by June and spent much of the summer moving in together, getting matching tattoos, wandering around NYC, and drinking Starbucks:
Image credits: CosmopolitanUS
Also, this happened:
But alas, the relationship wasn’t built to last, and Pete and Ari parted ways in October 2018, when a source told TMZ that things ended with “both parties acknowledging that it simply was not the right time for their relationship to take off” and “things are over romantically.”
Cazzie David: 2016 to May 2018
Not a ton is known about Pete and Cazzie’s relationship, but we do know they broke up in May 2018—right before Pete started dating Ari. Pete confirmed the split at the time, saying, “We’re not together anymore” and saying Cazzie is a “very talented girl, she’ll be great and she’ll be fine. Yeah, I think she’ll be okay.”
Cazzie was obviously JUST FINE but later confirmed that Pete dumped her via text. Which. Not cool.
Guess there’s nothing left to say but...thank u, next.