One night stands can vary. They can be a giant laugh that you look back on fondly, and recount to your friends over beers the next day. Or they can be absolutely terrible. Having sex with someone you don't know, who doesn't know what you like or how your body works can be disappointing to say the least. But what happens when a one night stand ends in an unexpected pregnancy? What do you do then? Do you tell the father, even though you don't know the guy? Or do you make a decision as to what to do next all by yourself?
Here's what IRL women did when they fell pregnant after a casual hookup.
"He asked me if I was going to have an abortion"
"I told him. He reacted by asking me if I was going to have an abortion. I refused. I moved about a month later. He called me every week during my pregnancy to check on me and the baby. After our son was born, he came to visit and I realised I had some strong feelings for him. We moved in together four months later and we’ve been married 14 years this year."
"We call his fiancé the 'other mother'"
"I was in a bad place mentally and found this dude. We slept together. I told him when I found out. I kept the baby. We co-parent incredibly well. His fiancé is amazing and we call her 'other mother' because that lady stepped and decided, 'I love this man, I love this child'. He and I never dated or anything. We had no interest in each other besides sex and food. I love him for the love he has with our child. He's an amazing dad."
"I didn't put his name on the birth certificate"
"I did tell him. He was understandably upset just as I was. He was just starting college too. I didn't want him beholden to me so I didn't put his name on the birth certificate. That also helped when I gave the child up because I didn't need his permission. Every few years he emails me to ask how the kid is, and since I know where the kid is and can ask about him, I tell him what I know."
"I booked a medical abortion and have no regrets"
"I was in the process of divorce, waiting on finalisation. And dating around led to a FWB. We had almost nothing in common other than great sexual compatibility. One time, the condom tore down the side. The test almost immediately popped up positive. I never had a doubt about what I needed to do. I was in my last year of undergrad, a single mum to two small kids, and I’d just landed a prestigious internship that could not be done while pregnant as it required certain physical abilities. So, I booked a medical abortion (the pills). I had to wait another week as they had nothing available but the wait only solidified my resolve. No complications and no regrets at all.
"I got pregnant on my first real date"
"I was 21, and got pregnant on my first real date with someone (I had known him for a while, we had a lot of mutual friends). I kept the baby and we tried to actually have a relationship. It lasted until our daughter was almost two. I left him for his inability to hold down a job and be a functioning adult (he just wanted to sleep in and smoke pot everyday).
"I would keep her every single time"
"Looking back on it, I would keep her every single time... however, I would choose not to tell him I was pregnant. We 'successfully' co-parent, meaning whenever he feels like being around he takes his every other weekend visitation. I have yet to receive any financial help from him. He continues to be a bad influence on my daughter. I will never ever be rid of him - it's the risk you take when you involve someone you don't know well in the next 20+ years of your life."
"I fell for him and he ghosted me"
"I didn’t think it was casual. I fell head over heels for this guy. He ghosted me before ghosting was even a thing literally the day after the deed (or misdeed rather). Devastation hits. Pregnancy symptoms hit. Still can’t find a way to contact the guy (apparently his place wasn’t even his!) Anyways, no I did not keep the pregnancy. And no, he does not know even now because I was never able to find the guy again."
"There are days I wish I didn't go through with the pregnancy"
"I was casually sleeping with an ex-boyfriend when I got pregnant. We had been broken up eight or nine months before we started to sleep together again. He was sleeping with other women, and I was casually dating but not sleeping with anyone else. There was a condom malfunction and I ended up pregnant. He didn’t take it well when I told him. He went back and forth from being supportive to trying to manipulate me into an abortion the first 24hrs, then he stuck with trying to get me to abort. He told me I was ruining his life and my life, and said I wasn’t really pro-choice if I didn’t abort, if I really loved him I would abort. He also threatened to tell my mother because he was convinced she would want me to abort as well (he couldn’t have been more wrong). I was still really in love with him when I got pregnant so I never expected him to react that way. I had a hard time deciding what to do, but kept the baby in the end.
"There are days I love my life, and others I wish I didn’t go through with the pregnancy. I haven’t spoken to my ex since before I gave birth, and the last thing he said to me was that the next time I contact him better be through a lawyer. Overall though I really love my son and am happy I had him." [via]