6 Things That Might Be Stopping You From Finding the Right Guy

Let’s accept that the quest for Mr Right isn’t an easy one. You either don’t find the right match or end up in relationships that go nowhere and such instances leave you thinking that the ‘ideal guy’ is a myth. To begin with if you have a checklist for Mr Right that reads “Hot, smart, rich, considerate, tall, dark, etc.” then get off your high horse. The ideal guy isn’t Mr Darcy or any other fictionalised character, he is as real as you are with flaws and all. 

Now, have your ever reflected upon what you may have done to keep the guy away from you? Does this sound a little baffling because in your mind you can’t do anything wrong. According to Sheetal Shaparia, life coach and relationship counsellor, there may be things you're doing that are repelling the right person from coming into your life. The worst part is, you maybe guilty even without realising it. To help you take stock of the situation and make amends, Sheetal lists 7 things that could be stopping you from finding your man.   

1. Insecurity- The most basic reasons you might be single is that maybe you’re not comfortable opening up to someone else. You need to figure out what is holding you back. Fight with your insecurities and as you do so, you will slowly boost self-confidence and it will allow you to step out of your shell. Remember, your insecurities are only yours. Once you learn to accept your worth, rest will fall in place.

2. Trust issues- You may have watched your friends suffer in a relationship and may have become wary about love. Or you may have been seriously hurt by someone you’ve been involved with in the past, so you’re not willing to properly let your guard down. Past experiences creates trust issues, it doesn’t let you trust easily. Thoughts like, “What if he is not good enough?’, “What if I get hurt again?” keeps haunting you. But you can't hold on to your past. You need to move on.

3. You are selective- You may think you know what you like and what you want out of a partner, but you do need to be open to the idea that someone might come along and take you by surprise. You may have unrealistic expectations from a partner. Being selective is okay, but that should not stop you from giving anyone who doesn’t fit your idea of the perfect man a chance.

4. You’re not sure what you want- There could be times where you’re just plain confused about what you want in a partner, and that’s okay. Your criteria for what makes a person an “excellent” match will change as you mature. It could help to go on few dates that way you’ll come out with a general idea of what traits attract you and be better at choosing a partner you can be happy with.

5. You’re not approachable- If you find it hard to meet people, it might have something to do with the way you present yourself to others. It’s hard to change this, especially if you’re shy, but notice your body language when you’re around someone you’re attracted to, and if it could be interpreted as you being disinterested. The easiest way to fix this is by just remembering to relax, breathe, and smile. If you put yourself in a situation where you could meet that special someone, then you have no reason to wonder why you are still single. Your prospective partner isn’t going to magically appear before your eyes. If you want them, you have to go get them!

6. Fear of intimacy- This often prevails in the subconscious mind and makes it difficult to get close to someone. You may not intentionally reject love . Instead, you may behave in ways that creates stress in a relationship pre-empting any deeper intimacy. You are defensive about letting someone else in into your life.