The cute office guy travels in your cab everyday but you are too tongue-tied to ask him out for drinks or your friend’s cute brother is in town for a few days but you don’t know how to kick off the conversation. Well, you may have been in a similar situation and later wished if you only had made the first move. It’s never too late, Pooja Khera, relationship and dating coach, tarot expert and also a University of Yale certified coach of happiness and well being, says, “When it comes to attracting the guy you fancy, the most independent and confident women get nervous. Why? One of the reasons is that years of conditioning has taught women to wait for the man to make the first move.” However, you needn’t abide by these arbitrary notions. Pooja shares six definitive ways in which you can make the first move and then let the guy come after you!
1. Flirt the right way: “As obvious as this sounds many women simply don’t know how to flirt, harmlessly of course. They get cold feet around the guy which makes it even tougher,” says Pooja. She lists a few steps to to flirt right.
A-If you are in a group, speak to everyone without looking at him. He will feel alienated. Then later, include him in the conversation. He will be delighted and you will have made his day.
B-Eye contact is key: Look at him in the eye and smile. It will show you are confident. If he likes you too, he will come to you.
C- Compliment his clothes: Notice his attire and compliment it. You are showing him that he is worth your attention.
2. Be yourself: Pretending to be what you are not is a turn-off. A guy can sense when you are trying to behave like someone else. You will try hard, look more relaxed than normal, and your actual confidence will begin to slip. As you try to pull off the act you will begin to give out wrong vibes. Try to be you, as real as possible.
3. Communicate with your body language: Many women ignore the importance of body language. Body language can be powerful enough to attract him or drive him away. Just keep in mind a few things: Don’t cross your arms around your chest. It shows your nervousness. Keep your hands out of pockets and don’t slouch. Use the space around you to get comfortable. This will indicate that you are self-assured in your skin. Let a slight tap on his hand or a little brush here and there do the talking!!
4. Be Confident: There is nothing sexier than being confident. Guys are naturally attracted to confident women as opposed to the shy ones. Don’t get intimidated or look nervous and don’t centre your conversations around him.
5. Get your friends in: A little backup support from your friends can be useful when you are trying to attract the guy. A simple ice-breaker line like “My friends and I were just talking about what a hit song this was in the 90s“. This can be a great conversation booster. The much-needed push from your friends will be a good kickstart while you are trying to score that number!
6. Buy him a drink: “This is an underrated but incredibly powerful gesture. Majority of men are impressed by a woman who can take the lead and buy them a drink. Try making it personal like “listen you have to try this. It’s on me”. It’s not only a great conversation starter but also shows the guy that you are interested in him,” says Pooja.
7. Do not talk about the Ex- Sounds pretty obvious, eh? You will be surprised to know that many women slip on this and end up speaking about the ex. In your mind, you could begin to compare the guy in front of you to your ex. This is a big put off!! No one likes to be compared. Instead, focus on him.
“While it can be daunting to make the first move, letting a guy know you are into him can be fun. Remember to stay confident. Things may not work on the first try but how will you know until you given it a shot?” Concludes Pooja