Do you find yourself embroiled in stressful situations and drama more often than before? Or perhaps constantly dealing with issues, conflicts and relationship crises (of all sorts, not just the romantic kind. It could be just a really bad patch, or perhaps the effects of a Mercury Retrograde. Or, there is a chance that you have unwittingly picked up some bad habits and patterns of dealing with people and situations, those that can have a negative impact on your life and relationships.
Look, we understand that nobody is perfect, in fact, you would be terribly boring if you were! But, rather than always blaming others (even though they could be at fault), we find it more empowering to suggest that you hold up a mirror and examine your own behaviours. You might find that there are certain patterns that you rather do without and some behaviours that you don't quite agree with. In doing so, you will not only become a better version of yourself, but you might also find a solution to some of your most pressing issues. Here are 9 signs that you might be developing toxic personality traits:
1. You blame everyone else for your problems
Very rarely is a problem truly one person's fault. We usually play a role (even a minor one) in whatever problems arise in our own lives. If you feel that everyone is always out to get you, consider it a red flag.
2. You talk behind people's backs
Gossip is something that is part of our daily lives, and while a little harmless chatter never hurt anyone, the danger lies when we say things that can be potentially hurtful or even harmful. Even after a big argument, while its natural to vent, but choose to do so to that one person you trust rather than engaging in constant trash talk with everyone you meet.
3. You take more than you give
There is nothing wrong with seeking out help when we need it, but if you find yourself constantly taking and then making excuses when people need you, chances are you need to change this balance.
4. Your friends have disappeared
If people are quietly exiting your life, they are doing it for a reason. Look around you, if your friends have been dropping away, it could be time to introspect why.
5. Your life is constantly full of drama
Everyone goes through some rough phases, but if you seem to thrive when things are going awary, something is amiss. Drama can be highly addictive, just check out any reality television show for proof. Explore the reasons why you might be attracting drama, and try to check these negative patterns in your life.
6. You can't let go
It's always hard to move on when we have been hurt or disappointed. But, if you are refusing to cut ties with the person who hurt you or you nurse a grudge forever, there is little chance that things will improve and move forward. Remember: you have got to take out the trash once in a while to make space for better things to enter your life.
7. You have a compulsive need to be right
Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? While it would be lovely if you could choose both, it is not realistically possible. Besides, there is no right and wrong in many situations, you just have to compromise to move on.
8. You focus squarely on the negative
While it is important to consider any possible negative outcomes of a situation before you rush in, life will be far more pleasant and joyful if we adopt a more positive outlook.
9. You dominate most conversations
Think back to the last time you spoke to a friend. Was the conversation moving back and forth or were you the star of the show? If you let your issues and interests dominate the discussion, you could be behaving self-absorbed, and cutting other people off, even disregarding their emotions.
If you feel like you have picked up one or more of these traits, don't fret. Being self-aware means that you have already won half the battle. Just 'check yourself before you wreck yourself' (hip-hop does deliver some great truth bombs). Be aware of what's holding you back, and make a positive change. Maybe find a go-to way of dealing with moments that you feel you are giving in ( making a gratitude list when you feel negative for example). You will find that this will positively impact, your habits, your relationships and eventually your life.