A beginners guide to squirting—with or without a partner

Of all the sex-related things, squirting aka female ejaculation is the most shrouded in controversy, myths, and confusion. Basically, squirting is when a woman (or a person with a vagina) gushes out fluid from their urethras during sex. 

Many people still question if it’s a real thing or something cooked up by adult movies that set unrealistic standards of sex. We’ve also heard questions like: is squirting just pee? Does a woman need to ejaculate to orgasm correctly? What is the right way to squirt? If any of these questions have ever crossed your mind, you’ve landed on the right page. We’re here to tell you how you can get yourself to splash with a partner or just by playing with yourself. 

Before we get into it though, let’s get one thing straight. Not all women ejaculate during sex. If and when they do, the amounts vary. And while it sounds amazing and it does intensify an orgasm, it’s in no way a mandate to have a rich and steaming hot sex life. So, there is no need to feel any FOMO if you are unable to squirt. That being said, if you still want to experience it, here’s a beginner's guide to doing so! 

Make sure you’re well hydrated  

Staying hydrated is crucial if you’re looking to take your sexy time to a new level, and especially if your aiming at squirting. Just to be clear, this doesn’t mean you guzzle two litres right before getting down; space it out. Also keep in mind that if you are dehydrated, it takes longer to build up enough fluid for you to squirt. Bottom line, water is your friend when it comes to sex and well, life.  

Give yourself time to be turned on  

We’ve said this before and we’ll say it again. Big Os, especially ones that lead to squirting can’t be rushed. It’s not a race with a definitive finish line. The first step is to relax your mind and get to know your body yourself before giving directions to your partner. Explore all your erogenous zones (as Monica Geller so eloquently explained, there are 7) with touches and sensations. Everyone is wired differently so using a vibrator is not only recommended but encouraged. It will help familiarise yourself with your body. It may take some time for you to get yourself to the point of squirting but don’t get disheartened. 

Another thing to remember is to be mindful while in the zone. Practice blocking all stressing thoughts while you’re in the sheets (by yourself or with your partner). For most women, pleasure starts in the brain. This means, if you want to feel the full extent of your orgasm leading to female ejaculation, you can’t be worried about work, household chores, your partner, or anything else. Just focus on yourself and carpe diem. 

Start by stimulating the clit then move to the G-spot 

As we talked about earlier, squirting is not a prerequisite for an orgasm. However, it is associated with intense pleasure—the more aroused you are, the more likely you are to leave a little puddle. Once you’re turned on slightly, start stimulating your clit. The next step is to locate your G-spot. It’s an extremely sensitive area located about two to three inches inside your vagina on the front wall. Once you locate it, use your fingers or a vibrator to apply pressure. You can experiment with varying intensities and speeds to find the sweet spot. You can give your partner these same directions and even ask them to focus on dual stimulation. The magic formula to squirt town might be the blend of external (clitoris) and internal (G-spot) sensations. 

As you or your partner continue to stimulate your body, you may feel the pressure building up. This is a good sign, if your goal is squirting. Don’t be afraid or embarrassed to let the sensation take over and just relax and let go. PS: if you feel the urge to pee, don’t be alarmed. It might not be the most comfortable sensation at that moment but it’s common when you’re entering the splash zone.  

Control your pelvic floor muscles 

Okay, here is where it gets slightly technical. Squirting requires a combination of relaxing and controlling your pelvic floor muscles. This might take some exploration and practice, so don’t worry if you can’t do it in the first go. Try doing Kegels to get a better sense or use your finger and tighten your pelvic floor muscles as if you’re trying to hold in pee. When you feel the pressure building through stimulation, tighten your muscles and when you’re ready to let go just relax and enjoy the gushing feeling. 

Don’t be too hard on yourself   

Sex and its outcomes are about pleasure. If after multiple tries you are still unable to squirt, don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s just your body’s natural responses at play. Relax and enjoy. If it happens, it happens. If not, remind yourself that all orgasms (with or without squirting) are immensely pleasurable.