Do you really like your crush or have they become a convenience?

Think before you put yourself out there.

17 November, 2023
Do you really like your crush or have they become a convenience?

As you navigate through the modern dating scene, chances are, you might end up in at least one ‘situationship’. And well, considering the dynamics of the concept, you are most likely to end up in a bad space. That’s when you start looking around and notice the one guy at work who holds the door for you every day or someone from the gym whom you exchange stolen glances with, and wonder, "Could they be the one?". There is a term for this phenomenon—proximity crush. 

According to research conducted by Leon Festinger, Stanley Schachter, and Kurt Back, we are more likely to be attracted to people who are nearby. This is called the 'propinquity effect’. Naturally, when we are around someone a lot, we end up talking and discovering things about each other, leading to a connection. Now you know why you had an almost unshakeable crush on that one person from school you saw every day. 

While it is perfectly okay to have a crush on someone close by, the real conundrum is whether you should take the plunge and pursue them or not. So, we have made a list of a few things you should take into consideration before seeing them as 'the one'.



Ask yourself if you actually like them or if they have become convenient companion

You are likely to fall for or develop a proximity crush when you’ve experienced a series of failed romantic relationships. Due to emotional exhaustion, there is a chance that you might start turning to people who are nearby or more convenient to approach. This is why, it is important to consider if you have genuine feelings for your crush or if you are only craving a romantic relationship. 

Rethink the dynamics you share with this person

If you are starting to develop a crush on a friend or a co-worker, rethink the dynamics before you pursue them. First things first, try examining if they have a similar intention and remotely feel the same way or you are simply being delusional. Also, think about how things may change—positively and negatively—after you’ve acted on your feelings. 

Consider if pursuing them could do more harm than good

When it comes to pursuing someone you’ve known for some time (for example: a friend), it is important to weigh the pros and the cons of the situation. Think about the best and the worst that could happen if things did not work out and how that would impact you and people around you.  

Evaluate your readiness for being in a relationship 

Before rushing into anything new, take some time to analyse if you are ready to take the plunge with someone new or if you’re looking for romantic involvement to get over a past relationship. If your answer is yes, it most likely is a rebound and it may be a bad idea to move things any further.