Here's how a pros and cons list can actually help your dating life

When in doubt, make a list.

23 February, 2024
Here's how a pros and cons list can actually help your dating life

Friends fans will remember the iconic episode in season two when Ross has to choose between Rachel—a woman he's been in love with since the ninth grade, and Julie—his girlfriend who is actually quite lovely, not to mention he has much more in common with her than Rachel. Ross was faced with two options: either leave Julie to be with Rachel or ignore the fact that Rachel loves him back, and move on with his life. It was a tough decision, which is why he chose to make a pros and cons list for Emily and Rachel (courtesy of Joey and Chandler).  And while he came up with several reasons to stay with Julie, the ultimate drawback was simple—she's not Rachel!

Now, if you've seen the entire episode, you'll know that the way Ross handled the situation was horrible. But if you think about it, a pros and cons list might be exactly what you need in your dating life and here's why. 

It will give you a lot of clarity

Just as every coin has two sides, so do people. Regardless of the person, there will be both the good and the bad. A pros and cons list will help you put everything into perspective, making the decision-making process easier for you. In the end, you will know whether you want to be with someone or not.

You will know their red (and green) flags better 

A pros and cons list allows you to look at a situation from various perspectives. It nudges you to look at all the red flags that you might (initially) choose to ignore as well as understand and appreciate their green flags. So, you can be the judge and decide what’s best for you.

It gives you the space to think and self-reflect

Creating a pros and cons list gives you the space to reflect on a situation so you avoid making hasty decisions. Think of it as hitting the pause button; you take a step back, look at the complete picture, and carefully weigh the positives and the negatives. It's a great way to ensure that your decisions are more aligned with your preferences. Further, it also allows you to prioritise your needs and think about yourself. It's like looking in a mirror for your feelings and thoughts. You get to see what really matters to you and what doesn’t. This self-reflection helps you understand yourself better and make decisions that match what you want and need in your life.

Reduces emotional bias

Further, making a list also helps you make decisions with a clear head and not just based on strong feelings at the moment. It's like taking a step back from the heat of the moment and looking at things more logically. This way, you can see the situation from different angles without being overwhelmed by emotions. It's like having a cool-headed friend giving you advice, helping you avoid impulsive choices that might be influenced by fleeting feelings.

Also read: Here’s why an ‘all-or-nothing’ mindset can change your dating life for the betterIt’s totally worth it.

Also read: How sleeping next to your partner is improving your relationship and mental health