Here's why some people fear commitment despite being in love

Head over heels but still stuck at the edge? Here's why!

03 February, 2025
Here's why some people fear commitment despite being in love

Commitment can be a daunting idea for some, even when love and loyalty are present. The thought of a long-term future with someone can bring on feelings of anxiety. But why does this happen? Well, a fear of commitment often stems from past experiences, insecurities, or external pressures. It may seem harmless at first, but over time, it can create emotional distress and uncertainty, which can damage even the strongest relationships.

Here are some reasons why commitment might feel like a daunting leap for those people in relationships too.

 

They’ve been hurt before 

The fear of heading down a path that could lead to heartbreak or betrayal makes some people cautious about committing to their partner. Past toxic relationships can cause them to build emotional walls to protect themselves, making it difficult to trust and open up fully, and for their partner to truly get to know and love them.

They don’t want to lose their independence

Some people associate commitment with being tied down, fearing they’ll lose their freedom and personal space. The idea of being in a long-term relationship can make them anxious, thinking it might mean compromising their individuality and lifestyle.

Unrealistic expectations scare them off 

In today's world, society and social media create an illusion of what a perfect relationship should be, making commitment feel overwhelming and challenging. When reality doesn’t match these high expectations, people tend to retreat to avoid disappointment.

The fear of failure

The very though of a relationship falling apart can be deeply unsettling, causing intense anxiety. Some people fear that no matter how much effort they put in, things might still end badly—leading to pain, disappointment, or even a sense of personal failure. And so some people choose to steer clear of commitment altogether to prevent potential heartbreak.

Their attachment Issues

Those with an avoidant attachment style struggle with emotional intimacy. They may love their partner but instinctively pull away when the relationship becomes too serious. They may be afraid of becoming too vulnerable or reliant on someone else and as a result, create distance—whether by shutting down emotionally, avoiding deep conversations, or hesitating to commit fully—ultimately making it difficult to build a secure and lasting connection.

 

Their career and personal goals come in the way

For some, ambition comes first, and they believe a committed relationship will slow them down. The fear of not being able to juggle both effectively can lead to hesitation, as they don’t want to feel restricted or risk resentment—either towards their partner or themselves—for choosing one over the other.

Childhood and parental trauma

Those who grew up in unstable homes or witnessed broken relationships are often scared when it comes to love and commitment. They subconsciously believe that any relationship they enter is bound to fail, making them hesitant to invest fully.

Emotional unavailability

Some people may deeply care about their partner but are not emotionally prepared for the depth that commitment requires. They struggle with expressing their emotions, making long-term dedication feel like an overwhelming burden.

Lead image: Netflix

Also read: 6 things to ask your partner before committing to them

Also read: Signs that say you are afraid of commitment

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