Modern dating is not for weak hearts. From the time you exchange first glances and texts until you make things Insta-official, there's no telling if or when you will be ghosted. That’s the whole idea behind the ruthless dating trend, right? One night, you are walking hand-in-hand with your boo and then the next day, boo! they vanish into thin air. And just when we thought it could not get more taxing than this, we end up getting ‘zombied’, which is far worse than getting ghosted.
In simple terms, zombieing is when someone ghosts you and then reappears out-of-the-blue, without an explanation or apology (or with one you shouldn’t pay any heed to.)
There can be several reasons behind this reappearance, mostly selfish and inconsiderate. Experts suggest this behaviour stems from either certain changes in circumstances (read: they didn’t find anyone better) or boredom. Whatever the case, it's disrespectful and thoughtless.
If you have been ‘zombied’, you are sure to feel confused, angry, shocked and a whole other bunch of feelings. But however chaotic it may be, fret not, there are ways of dealing with this. Below is a five-step process to better deal with ‘zombieing’ and to maintain your mental well-being.
How do you deal with it like a pro?
Assess your feelings
A situation like this can often bring the underlying hurt back to the surface, and thus it is important for you to assess your feelings first. Think about how you feel. Try analysing if you’ve moved on or are still in love with the person. Ask yourself: Do I want this person back? If yes, why? What value will this person add to my life? How has being with them affected me in the past?
Have an honest conversation
You need to be honest about how you feel. First to yourself and subsequently to whom you are communicating your feelings. This is especially essential if you are planning to rekindle things with them. Once you’ve assessed your state of mind properly, communicating how you feel about the situation shouldn’t be too difficult.
Don’t forget to prioritise yourself and your happiness when considering giving the person a chance. In situations like these, it can be easy to fizzle down the ‘What if I hurt their feelings’ lane. Your mental well-being and self-esteem should be your focus.
Before rekindling things, be sure to set your boundaries. This can be done by communicating your expectations to the person. Next, observe their behaviour for some time. If you feel your expectations are being met without having to make an extra effort, give it a shot.
In order to fully move on from a particular situation, closure is extremely important. It brings you to a conclusion and helps you take control of your feelings. A sense of control ultimately helps you move forward.