#WomenInMaleFields: Anonymous dating confessions of women (that they’re not proud of)  

The trend #WomenInMaleDominatedFields is social media’s newest take on patriarchy, where women talk about treating men just as immaturely as they treat them, in a satirical way. Need examples? Check out the post below. While it started with women talking about male-dominated professions, it went on to talk about typical dating behaviours that are mostly exhibited by men. 

From interrupting men whenever they open their mouths to speak (or mansplain, duh) to avoiding commitment, the trend is a hilarious take on women embracing the same tactics once seen as ‘male’ prerogatives. Equally hilarious are the comment sections of these posts, which are more often than not explosive, with men trying to defend themselves from the allegations, or generalising the action being talked about to a “woman thing”, not done by men at all. Enter the counter-trend #MenInWomenDominatedFields.

But allegations and reality aside, we realised that most of these memes tend to revolve around red flags in the world of dating. Which, if you think about it, is more of a universal thing. So, in this collection of anonymous dating confessions, we dive deep into the unspoken times of women navigating relationships much like the way men usually do. Some admit to leading people on for the thrill, others to using emotional distance as a shield from intimacy. Whether motivated by insecurity, boredom, or simply the desire to take control, these women have found themselves engaging in behaviours they’re not necessarily proud of.

Blocked him because I felt he loved me too much

“We met on a dating app, and it was one of the best conversations I have had on that app. It felt as if he would worship the ground I would walk on. But I was fresh out of a messy breakup, and for some reason, the thought of being showered with so much love terrified me. So one day I blocked him from all my social media accounts. He tried his best to contact me - he even asked me what was going on through LinkedIn’s connect with a note feature, but I was too scared to admit.” Adya*

Broke up with him on text the day after we met his family

“We’d only been on four dates, and things were moving faster than I expected. He was sweet, thoughtful, and really into me—maybe a little too into me. When he invited me to dinner with his family, I went along with it, thinking it was just a casual meet-and-greet. But the moment I walked in, I realized this was more than just dinner. His parents were beaming and his younger sister was already discussing future double dates. 

“I liked him, but not enough to meet his parents or listen to his dad talk about him ‘settling down.’ The next morning, I broke up with him on text and never replied to his follow-up messages. Part of me felt bad for blindsiding him, but honestly, it felt like he blindsided me first by bringing me into his family so soon. Maybe next time, he’ll take things a little slower.” Shruti*

My interest faded when the thrill of the chase did 

“We met in a club at the afterparty for an event. There was something very thrilling about how he always tried to impress me, whether with his stories or how he’d offer to buy me drinks. We texted all the time after that, and it was really fun flirting with him. But on our first date, I felt my interest fade as the thrill of the chase did. He was just as sweet, but I kept zoning out and checking my phone. Afterwards, when he texted to say he had a great time, I left him on read. He tried a few more times to make plans, but I kept making excuses until he stopped trying altogether.” Layana*

“Sorry, I’m too busy with work”

“At first, everything was great—we’d text all the time, go on fun dates, and he was always so eager to make plans. But after a while, I started to lose interest. I didn’t know how to tell him I wasn’t feeling it anymore, so I just started making excuses. Anytime he wanted to meet up, I’d tell him I was swamped with work. ‘Deadlines,’ ‘last-minute meetings,’ or ‘I have a shoot coming up’ became my go-to reasons for avoiding him. Raya*

“The truth was, I’d just rather stay home and binge-watch shows or hang out with my friends than go through the motions of a relationship I wasn’t invested in.” Maitreyi*

Started fighting with him because I could not admit I was cheating 

“My boyfriend at the time was two years senior to me. We tried to make it work after he graduated and moved to Mumbai, but it was getting difficult to keep up. I tried my best, but there was this one night when I kissed this guy at a party (I was drunk, by the way). The guilt haunted me, especially the thought that the kiss would have progressed into something more had I not stopped myself. But I just could not admit it - he would be shattered, too, if he knew. So I started picking up fights over the smallest things and kept blaming it on the distance till we eventually broke up.”  Sanchita*

I guess I was more into his friends than I was into him

“This happened in my first year of college. We had just moved into the city, and the two of us met at the freshers. He introduced me to his friends and we got really close in a short time. At first, I hung out with them when he invited me along, but soon we started messaging each other directly to make plans. Now big friend groups have smaller circles in them, so many of the times he wasn’t invited. Sometimes I thought he’d bring it up or at least try to fight for my attention, but instead, he just started pulling away. Ruhi*

“The last straw was when the call for volunteers for that year’s Zomaland came, his friends and I were in the campus together and ended up volunteering. He wasn’t in college that day and we didn’t remember to ask him. By the time I realised an hour or two later, the slots were filled. He didn’t react much to it, but again, we drifted further apart. By the time the first year was over, we had broken up, he stopped hanging out with the group altogether, and I moved out of the hostel with my girl friends from the clique he introduced me to.” Himadri*

But I’m already in a relationship

“My long-distance (now) ex and I were having a rough patch, and I was practically done with the relationship, as I told him. So there was this period where we weren’t together, and I was seeing other people on Hinge. I met this really nice guy, and we went on dates, but the thought of getting back with my ex lingered at the back of my mind. Finally, we got back within two weeks when he sent a huge message telling me how much I meant to him. As for the Hinge guy, I dumped him saying I’m already in a relationship.” Iris*

Lead image credits: Netflix

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