The Stages Of Sunday When You're a Social Butterfly

"Seriously, though, that traffic was CRAZY"




8am: Alarm bells! Damn you, phone! WHY did I not turn off my weekday alarm! Now I'll never go back to bed!

8:01am: Zzzzzzzz

10am: Mmmm. Why can't I sleep in every day! I have so much time still left in the day! I'm going t o jump out of bed in five minutes and make pancakes because YAY SUNDAY PANCAKES!

10:02am Zzzzzzz

12:30pm: Oh dear God. Overslept again. Must push lunch with the girls to 2, because 1pm is clearly undoable. 

12:35pm: Good, everyone's overslept. 2:30 lunch gives me time to watch the new episodes of Modern Family.

2:15pm: "Hi! Hi! Yes, I know, But I'm leaving RIGHT now. Like, I'm on my way out the door!"

2:35pm: Leaving house. Did I turn off the A/C/fan/geyser? Going back into house.

2:45pm: Wheeee! #TrafficFree. #LikeABoss

3:00pm: "So sorry, guys. Mad traffic. Who would've thought, on a Sunday AMIRITE?"

5:00pm: Already late for coffee with boyfriend. "Hi honey! No, just CRAZY traffic"

5:30pm: He's such a nice guy! I should stop making him waiting so much. I'm always invariab-oh sh*t! I Double-booked again!

6:00pm: If I leave now, I can pretend to my school buddies that I just got caught in really bad traffic. Could something have died on the street? Maybe a sleeping cow was blocking the road!

6:30pm: Okay, no, Imma just cancel. "sry guyz cray traffic can't B there "

7:00pm: Do I have time to get changed before dinner? I really should—it's a birthday thing and there WILL be pictures.

8:30pm: Okay, making out makes time go by TOO fast. No time to change—enter lipstick!

9:15pm: "Hiiiii! I know, you guys, but if you'd seen the traffic you'd have killed yourself." 

11:15pm: "Oh god nooooo! I'm too drunk for a selfie NOW! Why couldn't we have taken this when I came in? B*tch, you better not be Instagrammin' this."

2:00am: Ugh, work tomorrow! I really need some R&R. WHY did I not stay in? 

10:00am: Damn it! Overslept! I will NEVER turn off my weekday alarm again!