9 Secrets About Working in Porn That Will Surprise You

Yep, it's just like any other office job. (Well, kind-of.)

21 March, 2018
9 Secrets About Working in Porn That Will Surprise You

The Walrus has a fascinating read about what it's like to work at in the backend (heh) of a porn company; writing copy and maximizing Internet search-ability (SEO) for terms like "rimjob" and "bleached butthole." Though, if you ignore the copious amounts of butt stuff, working in a porn cubicle is pretty much like any other job.

Let me count the ways:

1. The interview is hard. "I aced the interview, which involved writing a 500-word piece of erotica incorporating five randomly selected keywords (mine were bondage, double penetration, celebrity sex tape, Verne Troyer, and fisting).​"

2. You deal with irate customers. "Tech-support calls come from frantic, semi-erect subscribers unable to access our latest video uploads."

3. You touch up photos. "I once watched a co-worker Photoshop a porn star's armpit stubble out of every single frame of a video in which it appeared.​"

4. The job can infiltrate other aspects of your life. "I could learn to deal with the fact that constant exposure to sexual content is starting to alienate me from my body and make me distant in my romantic relationships, that my brain is slowly becoming saturated with the language of fucking." ​

5. There are tough assignments. "Our tagging system and content trees are dense. Within them, an ass is not simply an ass. It may be skinny or thick, juicy or bubble; the sphincter may be tight or gaping, bleached or hairy; insertables of various sizes and configurations may be involved. When it comes to the performers, age, sex, skin colour, size, and hair all enter into play."​

6. You make small talk with your co-workers. "It's amazing how quickly chatting with colleagues about gangbangs and double penetration can become not just normal but banal—how quickly titillation can turn into numbness.​"

7. Sometimes there's harassment, and it's not OK. "When the writer first meets her big boss, he tells her to stand against a wall and take her picture. Why? "Write down your name and what you do; that way, I don't have to keep calling you the Blond with the Small Tits in meetings."

8. It doesn't pay great. The job pays barely more than minimum wage, and I share a desk with a young woman—the personal assistant to one of the executives—who microwaves fish every day. Still, it's a salary. There are benefits. ​

9. Sometimes quitting is the best thing. "I was tired of sex with my boyfriend seeming like an extension of my workday and of the way friends would bring up my job at parties to exploit its shock value. But more than that, I hated how poorly our department was run, how underappreciated our writers were, and how difficult it was to get anything done. I hated how it had ended up being just like any other desk job in any other industry.​"

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Credit: Cosmopolitan
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