7 Acceptable Excuses to Give if You Are Late for Everything

We all know the misery of standing around and waiting for a friend who was supposed to show up ages ago. Lame, right? What's even lamer is when friends lie about why they're late.

You're going to lie to me when I'm standing in the rain, betch? You're going to lie to me when I'm hungry enough to chomp someone's head off? I don't think so. No fibs, no pretension. If you're real with me, I'll be 10 times more willing to hug it out and forgive you. The alternative is me being pissed off the whole time we're hanging out.

So, here are seven perfectly reasonable excuses for being late — but, please, be honest. If you're my friend, I'll know if you're lying, anyway.

1. You're hungover AF. So you partied too hard last night and now your head feels like it's going to explode. There's no use denying it when your eyes are redder than maraschino cherries. I can see your hangover on your face. You might be slightly more convincing if you weren't walking in zigzags. Plus, your train of thought derailed five minutes ago.​

2. You scored some booty. Oh, your mother called and you just couldn't get her off the phone? No, darling. There's no way your mother gave you that "just had sex" flush. Now own up to it and dish.

3. You had the shits. No, you didn't have "a cold" or a "headache." You're not late because you "weren't feeling well." The straight-up truth is that you had the shits. Don't want to admit you were a poop machine? Sure, it's embarrassing, but it also happens to everyone. It's not like I haven't sat on the toilet in agony before. Take some Imodium and carpe diem.​

4. You're just not feeling it. Believe it or not, I won't be (too) offended if you admit that you'd rather be in bed drinking wine and watching Netflix. I get it — everyone has to catch up on Orange Is the New Black at some point. But maybe you should've just stayed home instead of making me wait for you. I could've at least gotten a head start on the buffet line by now.

5. You have no money. I wish you would say you had spent the past 45 minutes scouring your sofa and dresser drawers for enough change to pay for whatever we're supposed to be doing right now. I could've spotted you for the cash or suggested we do something cheaper (or even free). I'm your friend because I love your company, not your checking account. Otherwise, all of my friends would be oil barons and corporate lawyers.

6. You had nothing to wear. So you went shopping first? Why didn't you take me with you? Or maybe you're trying too hard to impress me? Chances are, we're not hanging out together at a black-tie affair. But if we are, I would've hit the shop (or Goodwill, or wherever) with you. Otherwise, I would've been just as happy to see you in jeans and a T-shirt.

7. You had some essential errand to run. By essential, I mean essential. These are the boring tasks that make you long for childhood again. Maybe you had to pick up your towed car or chase down your landlord. It doesn't matter. If you had to get crap done, let me know. No, I won't think your perfectly normal and necessary errands make you "boring" and somehow less "adventurous" or "spontaneous." You're an adult with adult responsibilities.