My honeymoon phase started a few years later, and here's how I know it

Beyond the fluttering butterflies, long romantic texts, and grand gestures of love, it's the comfort and companionship...

26 March, 2024
My honeymoon phase started a few years later, and here's how I know it

I was hanging out with my boyfriend of two years when I dozed off on the couch. Waking up an hour later, I found myself snuggled in a blanket that I don’t remember being there earlier. I knew how it came there and couldn’t help but smile as I thought about it. Cut to, a few months later, my boyfriend came home after a 14-hour work day, holding a stuffed monkey (he knows I love my collection of stuffed animals) so that “it will remind me of him”. And that was when I realised that my honeymoon phase had only just started. And guess what? It’s been five years, and I can still feel it.

When we think of the “honeymoon phase” in a relationship, we think of butterflies in the stomach, endless late-night conversations, and grand gestures of love. In reality, the true essence of the honeymoon phase isn’t defined by candlelit dinners or lavish getaways. It’s about finding comfort, connection, and authenticity in the everyday moments you share with your partner.

In my relationship, I’ve come to realise that the honeymoon phase is an ongoing period, rather than a few fleeting moments during the initial months. It’s a journey of growth that unfolds over the course of your relationship. It’s not about fireworks and fanfare; it’s about the quiet moments of understanding, the shared laughter, and the unwavering support that define true intimacy.

Here’s how I knew I was still reeling in the honeymoon phase of my relationship.

The magic of comfortable silence

In the early days of our relationship, my partner and I felt compelled to fill every silence with chatter. Awkward pauses were par for the course, and we always seemed to be scrambling to keep the conversation flowing. But over time, those moments of quiet have transformed into something beautiful—a deep sense of comfort and understanding between us. Now, we relish the peace that comes with being able to simply enjoy each other's presence without the need for forced conversation.

Finding romance in the everyday

The honeymoon phase isn’t about grand gestures or elaborate date nights—it’s about finding joy and romance in the simple pleasures of everyday life. Be it making Maggi at 2 am on a weekday or laughing about a silly inside joke, these mundane moments are what truly make my heart flutter (and give me the butterflies). 

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

New couples often enjoy their honeymoon period by spending most of their time with each other. However, the excitement to meet each other slowly wears down after a while. In our case, the excitement never wears down. My boyfriend travels a lot for work—he’d stay away for weeks, months even. Though the goodbyes at the airport are painfully tough, when we reunite after spending time apart, it’s fireworks all over again. The wait and the longing strengthen our bond, proving that distance only strengthens our romance, making our honeymoon phase last longer.

Finding common ground 

Like most couples, we, too, put up a show at the beginning of our relationship (though we knew we were polar opposites). I acted like I was into video games and he pretended to like spicy food. While this pretending had its romantic moments, it also sparked plenty of disagreements that often led to fights. Now, we’ve reached a middle ground where we discovered our shared interests—things we can both enjoy—and we’ve learned to appreciate each other’s quirks that once baffled us. The honeymoon phase is not about being pretentious; it’s all about finding balance and embracing what makes us unique.

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