Here's What It's Really Like to Have a Small Penis

Small penises are often unfairly the butt of jokes, but for the men who have them, it's a lot more complicated than that. Here, three guys open up about living life as smaller-than-average.

How old are you?

Man A: Twenty-eight.

Man B: Twenty-five.

Man C: Thirty-three.

Do you sleep with women, men, or both?

Man A: Women.

Man B: Women.

Man C: Women, although I did experiment with guys in my early 20s.

You identify as having a small penis. How big is it?

Man A: 3.5 inches when erect.

Man B: 4.1 inches when erect and 1.6 when flaccid.

Man C: Three inches when erect.

[Ed. note: the average penis size is 3.61 inches flaccid and 5.16 inches erect.]

When did you realize you were smaller than average?

Man A: I think it was when I started being intimate with women. When you're younger and fooling around for the first time, you don't really have a frame of reference for what's normal size-wise. But as I got a little older, I could tell my partners seemed disappointed.

Man B: In my early teens. When getting changed after swimming class when I was 13, I noticed that the other boys' penises were noticeably larger than mine. Mine looked tiny in comparison. I started paying more attention to other penises and quickly realized that I had a small one.

Man C: Around 13, seeing other boys in the changing room. Seeing their larger penises and pubic hair made me feel inferior. I felt like I needed to hide my genitals in order to avoid being singled out and bullied. I assumed I was just a late developer, but when I did finally get pubic hair when I was 15, my penis seemed to remain the same size.

How did you feel about your penis size growing up?

Man A: When I was just a kid I never really thought twice. We didn't have gym class where you got naked or anything, so it was mainly as I got a little older that it just felt a little unfair to have the penis size that I did.

Man B: I was embarrassed. I would get changed in locker rooms backed into the corner, constantly fearing that someone would see my penis and laugh.

Man C: I was shy about it and wanted it to be bigger. I didn't try to go further than kissing girls because I felt my small penis would make me an object of ridicule at school and, later, with work colleagues.

And how do you feel about it now?

Man A: Look if you told me that I could take a magic pill and it would get bigger, obviously I'd jump at the chance. But I'm doing my best to deal with it because honestly it could be much worse; I could have a life-threatening illness or something.

Man B: I've come to slowly accept that having a small penis is something that I can do little about and have to accept. I still don't like getting changed in front of other men and still struggle to admit to having a small penis, however I don't feel the same complete embarrassment I felt growing up.

Man C: I'm happy with it now, as I developed a fetish for humiliation. I have a Twitter account about small penis humiliation, a recognized fetish where submissive men with small penises are ridiculed and punished, usually by superior and dominant women. The women remain fully clothed while the men are stripped or feminized with makeup and lingerie, and made to masturbate or carry out demeaning tasks, such as chores or stripper-style dance routines.

In your experience, does size matter to the people you sleep with?

Man A: You know, I think it matters a little, but ultimately if you can satisfy your partner and they feel good sleeping with you, size matters less.

Man B: I think it matters more to me than it does to them; however I have never managed to make a woman orgasm through penetrative sex. When I lost my virginity, I was very scared that my partner would laugh or leave, and so put off sex initially. When we did have sex though she didn't say anything, and in our relationship neither of us brought it up. Shortly after we broke up I was on her MySpace page and noticed a conversation with her and two of her friends in which they joked about me having a "tiny penis." I felt shocked and horrible for weeks afterward. Since then I've made sure to talk about the issue with my partners rather than pretend the issue isn't there.

Man C: Yes. I've had girls look visibly disappointed and tell their friends afterwards. I once went home with a girl from a club who refused to sleep with me when she saw my penis. A week later, everybody at the club was talking about how small my penis is. I was distraught at the time, but soon became aroused by the idea of girls laughing at it. It turns me on to think that these beautiful women know how small my penis is and think it couldn't satisfy them, especially in a culture where we're told that women desire large penises. In addition to this, when I am in a relationship, I often fantasize about my partner lusting after men with large penises and cuckolding me, making me watch them have sex.

What about socially, among other guys?

Man A: Look it's definitely not a topic I'm going to voluntarily discuss with my friends. I know most guys have bigger penises than I do, and it's just weird to compare your bodies in that way.

Man B: I still feel the need to hide my penis from other guys, in locker rooms. Whenever I go to public toilets I always use the cubicles and not the urinals. I have the problem in that my penis is small whilst erect, but is tiny when flaccid. It doesn't seem socially acceptable in male culture to have a small penis. Having a large penis seems manly, whilst having a little one does not. Jokes amongst males are often made about having large penises, and I've joined in through masculine obligation despite being aware of having a very small one.

Man C: I don't think it matters much anymore. At school, it was an issue, but other than the occasional message abusive on Twitter (which doesn't bother me), guys don't really make fun of penis size much from what I see.

How does the size of your penis influence the way that you have sex?

Man A: I like to think — and I really hope my partners agree — that I've gotten really good at performing oral sex. I just want people I have sex with to know I have different skills to offer, in case my penis wasn't what they were expecting. I also really enjoy getting blow jobs because my partners can adjust the pressure easily, so it feels tighter than penetration for me.

Man B: Because the girth of my penis is also small, I prefer sexual positions in which my partner's vagina feels tighter. My favorite is a variation on doggy style, in which after I've put my penis inside her, she closes her legs and I have my legs open. This creates a tighter feeling and gives me more pleasure. I've never managed to make a woman orgasm through penetrative sex, which means I spend a lot of time on foreplay, particularly oral sex. My partner enjoys the fact that I spend so much time with my face between her legs! When she is on top, she positions herself farther backward than she says she typically would. This means my penis is pushed forwards somewhat, which she says helps it go deeper inside her and push against the front of her vagina more. I've also discovered vibrating cock-rings are friends.

Man C: I'm not too experienced, but missionary works OK. Doggy style is OK if she leans back far enough. Girl-on-top is good for me, but they usually tell me that it doesn't do anything for them. Spooning is no good — I've been asked a few times, "Is it in yet?" I once wore a strap-on for an ex; it was amazing seeing how differently she reacted to something so big in comparison.

Do you ever wish your penis were larger?

Man A: Oh sure, there's no point in pretending otherwise. But like I said, in the grand scheme of life there's nothing I can do about it. I try not to spend too much time fantasizing about surgeries and things like that.

Man B: Yes. I think I have suffered a low self-esteem because of having a small penis, but I'm trying to become less embarrassed by it and embrace it more. Talking it through with my girlfriend and getting the impression she really doesn't mind has made me feel better. We have a healthy sex life and the culture we live in, of "big being better," doesn't tell the whole story. I have a small penis and I'm learning to be satisfied with it and accept it. Maybe one day, I will even be proud of it.

Man C: I used to, but not anymore. I became comfortable with it through the discovery of small penis humiliation, realizing that there was a recognized niche for what I have and what I enjoy sexually. As strange as it may sound, I'd actually like to reduce my size, if possible. I've looked into the possibility of dietary methods and physical exercises that that could make my penis smaller, but apart from surgery, which I wouldn't consider, there isn't anything that will reduce it.

Is there anything you think people should know about guys with small penises?

Man A: Give him a chance, you just never know. You might have great chemistry regardless of his size.

Man B: Don't be put off, and be honest. If a guy has a small penis, he probably feels self-conscious about it. Put him at ease and it will probably make sex better for both of you. Oh, and try to avoid affectionate nicknames. My partner referred to my penis as "Wee Willie Winkie" once, and it didn't go down well!

Man C: If you're with somebody with a small penis, get to know him and make sure he gets to know you. Try to find things that work for you both. Don't be afraid to ask questions or say if something isn't working for you. I'd also like to say that, despite my small penis and humiliation fetish, I'm actually a happy and outgoing person.

This post was originally published in 2015 and has been updated.

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