We all look for ‘warning signs’ when we meet someone new. While the girl community is pretty much aligned on what counts (and doesn’t) as a red flag, what sets men off has remained a bit of a mystery. We quizzed these guys on what they look for in a woman to decipher whether or not a relationship is doomed from the start or would fizzle out eventually.
Tushar Jaitly, 26, Founder, TJ-Moto
Ankit Sharma, 29, AVP, Leadership, Learning & Talent, Barclays
Bhanu Samrat, 25, Entrepreneur
Shaman Arora, 26, Businessman
Akshay Johar, 26, DJ/Producer, MojoJojo
Tarun Bassi, 30, Marketing Manager
Q: On a first date, what are some of the red flags that’ll make you run in the opposite direction?
Tushar: “If a girl has bad breath...that’s one thing I just can’t stand. Also, if I can’t have a decent conversation, I feel there’s no point taking things forward.”
Akshay: “Over-enthusiastic chicks who want to add you on all social media platforms as soon as they meet you... And secondly, women who state right in the beginning of a date that they’ll split the bill. I mean, it’s a great thing and I’m all for women empowerment, but it’s a little intimidating to be talking about as soon as you meet someone, no?”
Bhanu: “Lack of passion and ambition—women who don’t know what they want to do with their lives. In today’s day and age, where everyone has so much exposure, you can’t not have an end goal. Like, on one of the dates I asked a girl what she wants to do and she told me ‘I like to listen to music’...that’s a hobby, not what you want to be in life!”
Shaman: “Salman Khan fans...I’d run away as far as I can from those girls. I’ve been on so many crazy dates and the common factor has been that they’ve all loved him. There’s something about his fans...they’re a bit crazy.”
Ankit: “If a girl’s too much ‘into’ her phone...I’d think that she’s uninterested, and I’d probably let her be on a date with her phone!”
Tarun: “Pretentious girls...someone’s who’s trying too hard to seem cool, saying something just for the heck of it. And also, if a girl is too clingy—like she needs a guy for every little thing. I like independent girls...”
Q: Does it deter men from dating a girl if she’s had multiple sexual partners?
Bhanu: “Nope! Maybe if she’s still friendly with those guys, but not basis the sheer number of her sexual partners.”
Tarun: “No, not really. But I feel it’s better for the relationship if she tells me about it upfront. But I’m totally okay if she’s been with a couple of people.”
Ankit: “I used to be like that a while ago, but not anymore. I guess, part of growing up is also accepting that if you can have multiple partners, so can a girl. And that’s completely okay.”
Shaman: “I feel if she’s dated a guy, then it’s okay. But if she’s randomly hooked up with a lot of people and she’s still friends with them, I wouldn’t be comfortable with that.”
Tushar: “I don’t think these things matter anymore.”
Akshay: “I agree. If you have a genuine connection, everything else is immaterial. Everyone is allowed to have a past and, I feel, our generation is progressive enough to not let these things get in the way of dating someone they really like.”
Q: But what if her number is greater than yours...
Akshay: “Good for her!”
Tarun: “It’s just a number...if I trust her, nothing else matters.”
Tushar: “If she’s lied to me about it, then yes, definitely. But otherwise, it wouldn’t matter to me.”
Q: Tell us about a date that totally turned you off.
Bhanu: “It would have to be the one where the girl kept talking about her ex, who she dated for eight years... It was just plain painful!”
Shaman: “This one time I went on a date with a fashion blogger, and she made me feel like I was in a social experiment. I felt extremely self conscious about myself as she kept analysing what I was wearing, etc.”
Q: So a girl you’re dating says ‘I love you’ within weeks. Is that a red flag?
Bhanu: “Depends on who’s more attractive in the relationship.” (Laughs)
Akshay: “If she’s someone I really like, and I think it can be something serious, I’d be okay. I’d probably say it back out of pressure.”
Ankit: “I’d say it back with equal enthusiasm.” (Laughs)
MOMENT OF TRUTH: WHAT DO MEN REALLY THINK OF GIRLS WHO’RE ON DATING SITES/APPS?
Tushar : “WHY WOULD I JUDGE SOMEONE FOR BEING ON AN APP OR A DATING SITE, WHEN I’M ALREADY ON IT? IT’S JUST PLAIN HYPOCRISY!”
Ankit: “ABSOLUTELY NOT. I DON’T REALLY FIND IT AN EFFECTIVE WAY OF FINDING ‘THE ONE’, BUT HEY, WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT...”
Tarun: "I WOULDN’T JUDGE A GIRL FOR BEING ON A DATING APP...BUT I’D DEFINITELY JUDGE BASIS HER PICTURE AND MAYBE THE BIO."
Bhanu: “GUYS WHO’RE ON DATING APPS HARDLY JUDGE WOMEN. I’D SAY THE MORE THE MERRIER... I WOULD URGE MORE WOMEN TO JOIN!”
Shaman: “I KNOW OF MEN WHO CAVE AND DON’T GET INTO A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH WOMEN WHO’RE ACTIVE ON DATING APPS, BUT I’M TOTALLY NOT FROM THAT TRIBE.”
Akshay: "UMM, NO. BUT I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH WOMEN WHO IDENTIFY THEMSELVES AS ‘SAPIOSEXUALS’. LIKE, WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE, MAN?!"