What Happens When You Act Out Your Sex Fantasies

Whether it’s a sexy liaison with David Beckham or a steamy encounter with someone at work, most of us enjoy sexual fantasies. Sex and relationship expert, Tracy Cox, author of new book, Dare, explains. “What happens in our heads is private. If no one knows what we’re thinking, there are no rules,” she says. But what happens when you turn fantasy into reality? Tracy spoke to the women who went there...

“I bedded my boss and it turned out to be a nightmare"

Ella, 26, works in Advertising

“I had the classic ‘sexy boss’ fantasy when I was a trainee to a hot-shot advertising executive. He was in his early 30s, powerful, married, and arrogant—a lethal combination. I’d imagine all sorts of scenarios but they all had two themes: one was him declaring undying love; the other was him locking the door to his office and ravishing me. After a few years, he split up with his wife and eventually asked me to dinner. But when I got there, it was so awkward. I don’t think I’ve ever been more disappointed: it was sloppy and deeply unpleasant. We had sex, missionary style, and it was over in about a minute. That Monday, I started looking for another job and left about two months later.
It taught me a valuable lesson: never obsess about someone when it’s based on nothing but fantasy.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I got a massage with a happy ending"

Tania, 25, works with a magazine

“As a beauty editor, I go to product launches which are often overseas. This particular trip was to Thailand, and I was already feeling very sexual because I’d just started going out with someone and was having lots of sex. I was offered a full-body massage, and the masseuse asked if she could massage my breasts and my bottom, explaining that some Western women didn’t like it, but that’s where all the tension is. As the massage went on, her fingers were getting closer and closer to my vagina, and then she let her fingers quickly brush over me. ‘Do you want an extra?’ she said, her fingers now trailing provocatively close. I said yes and her fingers slid inside me, others slipped between my lips, a thumb worked on my clitoris and another finger slid inside my bottom. It was so arousing I came in under a minute, but it just seemed to go on and on. As soon as I’d orgasmed, though, I was overcome with shame and humiliation. I honestly didn’t know how I was going to look her in the eyes. I worried it counted as cheating; I worried she’d tell someone and the other girls on the trip would find out. I never did tell my boyfriend. But over time I began to see it for what it was: something incredibly sexy that I’ll never forget.”

“We joined the mile-high club"

Mandira, 31, works in sales

“I’d always fantasised about joining the mile-high club, so when my boyfriend of two months and I flew together for the first time, I got the chance to make it a reality. He went to the loo, and said, ‘Quick, come inside here with me’. On the spur of the moment I went to join him. But when I got in there, it wasn’t as erotic as I’d hope—and it smelt! We had (very cramped) sex but then heard voices outside. After a few minutes, a flight attendant knocked on the door. My boyfriend opened it to see a queue of three or four people, standing there with arms folded and looking fed up. ‘My girlfriend isn’t feeling well,’ he said, but no one was buying it. It was mortifying! We laughed about it the whole weekend, and although the actual sex was rubbish, the thought of it was still undeniably sexy.”

“Our Longed-for threesome ended in a disaster”

Pooja, 36, works in finance

“My boyfriend of three years had been begging me to have a threesome ever since we met and, even though it had always been a fantasy of mine too, it took me a long time to be persuaded. We took baby steps and looked online to see if we could find a girl who would be up for it. We got a response from a woman who looked pretty, sounded well educated and had a sense of humour. She said she’d slept with a girl before, which was good as I didn’t want to be the one driving the whole thing. When she arrived at our house, my boyfriend was jumpy and a lot more nervous than I was. We chatted stiffly before moving into the bedroom. I ended up going down on the girl, who’d made no attempt to fondle me or get involved with my boyfriend. He watched sulkily before storming into the kitchen. I apologised to the girl, who then left, and found my boyfriend sitting with a big bottle of Scotch. He was angry, hurt, sheepish and embarrassed. He said he’d wanted to pull out that morning because he’d got worried he wouldn’t be able to perform, and was freaking that I’d prefer to have sex with her over him and leave him for another woman.”

 

 

This interview was originally published in the June 2013 issue of Cosmopolitan India