How to Have Birthday Sex (All the Time)

It’s always pull-out-all-the-stops time when it’s birthday season, and it’s exactly that ‘You know what? Why not?’ attitude that lets you do the kind of crazy, kinky stuff that just doesn’t quite fit into the regulation Breaking Bad marathon Thursday. “I always know my boyfriend and I are going to have the most mind-blowing time when either of our birthdays are coming up,” says Priyanka, 25. “Just like a special occasion party, we want to make nookie time something to remember, and we look forward to it more than usual.” We at the Cosmo HQ, though, don’t see why that li’l-something-special kinda sex can’t happen anytime you want it to.

The Anticipation of the Bang
Alfred Hitchcock once said “there is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it,” and we couldn’t agree more (minus the terror part). Waiting for something just makes it so much more delicious, and abstinence can sometimes be sexier than sex itself. “To make a night really amazing, you can implement a ‘no sex’ rule for an entire week before a birthday,” says Cosmo US sex columnist, Natasha Burton. “The sexual tension and anticipation that’ll build up will make the sex just explosive that night.” Breaking that sex fast = donuts after a month of Atkins (so good)!

Who Gets to Be the Birthday Bunny?
Who doesn’t look at their birthday as a guilt-free chance to behave like a total princess (men included)? “On my birthday, my girlfriend makes the day all about me, and it’s pretty much no-holds-barred in bed,” Rahil says about his girlfriend of four years, Ananya. “And I get to do the one thing I love the most—which actually happens to be going down on her. She’s usually very conscious about it, but on my birthday, I get my way.” To pick out the gem from the ritual birthday treat we tend to give our partners, pick a psuedo-birthday boy or girl for the day. “Show your guy that today is all about him. Cook him dinner naked, or just prance around in your birthday suit while he waits in bed for you to seduce him,” Natasha suggests. “No matter what you actually do, let him know that you just want to please him. Don’t worry, he’ll be dying to reciprocate when your turn rolls around (As. He. Should.),” she adds.

Break Out the Lingerie!
There’s something about lingerie that’s always linked to ‘something special’ and it’s exactly that thought that can take sexing to next-level birthday lovin‘. “Most of my girlfriends don’t bother with lingerie unless their boyfriend’s birthday or their anniversary is coming up,” says Diya, 28. “I, on the other hand, wear lacey undies and bras all the time. And,” she adds, “it always puts my boyfriend in the mood when I strip down at the end of the day.” Sex therapist Dr Cadell agrees. “You must invest in some classic, slinky lingerie,” she says on redbookmagazine.com, “because it excites men far more than any painted nails or any ‘darling’ accessories ever can.”

Make an Exception
If Sex And The City (and like, every rom-com ever) has taught us anything about threesomes, it’s that they usually happen as a birthday present. We’re not necessarily talking going the table-for-three route every Saturday, but the fact is, people do make space for more adventure when it comes to birthday sex. So why not put that tactic to use on any other day? “Try something new,” Natasha recommends. “Delve into a more taboo act, like anal sex or a spicy new position, that you’ve never experienced together. You’ll both get to step out of your routine and make the day super-memorable.” Other ideas: give morning sex a go—and forget that it’ll cut into your coffee-and-Instagram time. Or, you know, make him give you a luxuriously sensual, hour-long massage—hey, it’s your (psuedo) birthday!

Let Him Be Your Fantasy
Or vice versa, of course. Birthday role-play is always a recipe for sexy fun, so “find out what scenario, fantasy, or position he’s been wanting to try. Take copious mental notes, then make one of his fantasies or even part of his fantasy come true,” says Natasha, “And if he doesn’t really give you a straight answer, try a bunch of general male fantasies: a surprise strip-tease, a full body erotic massage, sex somewhere new...” It’s all a go!

Give Him a Sex Present
Yes, we all love birthdays because there’s cake and special treatment, but the best part is always the presents. “Remember when you used to get toys for your birthday? Well, getting sex toys as an adult is even better,” Natasha says. Put together a birthday box—a little care package with sex goodies for him to choose from—lubricants, handcuffs, a porn DVD, massage oils... anything that would really make his night.

Dress Things Up
Looking special is the karma path to making something special. You’d dress up to go out for your birthday...so do it anyway—the undressing is bound to be equally erotic. “The next time you go out with your man, wear your sexiest outfit,” Susan Block, Founder of The Dr Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences tells Cosmo, adding that “when you feel sexy, you are sexy. Once you return home from your diva-date, you won’t be able to keep your hands off each other!” So pull out a sexy, little LBD, some red lippie, and get the night on the road!

Hotel Californication
The best birthday sex happens on getaway mode—it’s the fun of tearing up a hotel room. Dr Ellen Kriedman, Author of The 10-Second Kiss, recommends DIY-ing your way to hotel-heat. “Try re-creating that away-from-home atmosphere in your own bedroom. First, purge your room of any family photos or office stuff. Then buy sheets which feel super-silky to the touch.” Go the whole hog, she tells Cosmo, “invest in some thick, fluffy robes to lounge around in. And for the ultimate hotel-style indulgence, set up a tray of champagne and finger foods to savour after you make love. You’ll both feel like you’re on an incredible vacation away from the rest of the world.”